♥ Because Of You

Assalamualaikum. Walaupun abah dah tak ada, Ida rasa Ida tetap nak ceritakan pasal abah kat sini. Masa mula-mula abah warded, yang mana puncanya bila oxygen abah terlalu rendah selepas buat biopsy di PPUM hari tu, Ida masih in denial phase. Ida memang tak post/share kepada sesiapa or dekat mana-mana medium. Ida diam. Sebab bagi Ida, apa pun sakit yang abah alami, abah mesti akan sembuh. Padahal kelulusan sains. Padahal Ida belajar semua ni masa study dulu. Tapi tu lah, Ida tak percaya abah ada cancer. Abah pulak selalu menampakkan diri abah kuat, seolah-olah abah tak sakit. Bila abah nampak kuat, lagi Ida percaya yang abah tak sakit pun sebenarnya. Masa kawan abah datang ziarah, abah cerita semuanya dari awal sehinggalah macam mana abah boleh warded dekat kawan abah tu. Masa tu, abah kata "Aku ingatkan TB, batuk teruk, doktor pun ingat TB. Macam-macam test dah buat, tak dapat TB. TB taknak aku, kanser yang nak aku." Abah cakap sambil ketawa besar. Masa ni Ida senyum je. Tapi ...

Assalamualaikum. Sedekahkan bacaan al-fatihah to my abah, esok genap seminggu selepas abah tinggalkan ida, tinggalkan dunia ni. Abah, ada banyak benda yang belum lagi ida dapat tunaikan untuk abah. Ada banyak lagi perkara yang ida nak ceritakan. Ida rindu abah, tapi apakan daya, rindu kali ni tak dapat disampaikan dengan peluk dan cium lagi. Right after I posted the last entry on my blog, that night, kak long inform kami adik-beradik yang abah sakit sangat. Abah sakit perut yang teramat sangat. Dalam jam 10.55pm, abah dibawa ke emergency untuk x-ray bahagian perut abah. Doktor inform, perut abah banyak angin dan CT scan akan dibuat secepat mungkin. Tapi.. Abah tak tahan sangat, abah minta doktor operate abah segera. Tapi risiko sangat tinggi. Paru-paru abah cuma tinggal sebelah je yang berfungsi atas faktor kanser abah, so procedure intubation sangat imposible untuk dibuat dengan keadaan abah macam tu. Masa ida sampai je dekat ward pukul 12am tu, ida terus peluk abah. Takut. Takut sang...

Assalamualaikum. Here a quick update about abah. As of 16th September 2023, abah's condition is getting harder to explain.  Abah mengadu abah sakit perut, which nobody knows how it feels. Tapi perut abah sakit sangat. I don't know which is which, this morning doctor suspected abah's blood is infected with.. entah. It's not confirm yet, but they're suspecting blood cancer too? I ain't believe things until result's out. I can't even let what's in my mind out. It's haywiring. Too many to say, too much information but there's nothing I can do right now. Everyone's mental state is unstable. Apa tah lagi abah. Ida taktahu abah, taktahu nak buat apa. Ida harap abah terus kuat. But somehow Ida boleh faham apa yang ada dalam kepala abah. Tapi Ida taknak fikir benda tu. Two days ago was really the hardest day I ever experienced. Abah marah-marah. Everything I did, abah marah. Every words I uttered, always made you angry with me. I ended up crying a...

  Assalamualaikum Abah's condition is deteriorating. Last two days I came visit him, and he ate a bowl of porridge. I can still make jokes and he can play along with it. Yesterday, he talked less. Was told he kinda loss his voice probably due to medicine or prolong used of ventilator? I don't know just roughly guessing.  And today, he talked lesser. Just hand gestures to give instructions to me, or just nodding for yes and shaking as in no. I am sad. Seeing him blank-staring all the time. He whispered to me "abah letih". I stop him from saying any negative words, all I said was "takpe abah, nanti okay", when I knew it didn't ease him at all. I don't know how to cheer him up. Alhamdulillah today kak long staying up with abah at ward. Hopefully abah will gain all the energy back seeing his first daughter with him. Abah will undergo stenting procedure tomorrow (01.09.2023). Wishing everything goes well for him. Berharap after the procedure, abah can bre...

Assalamualaikum hai semua. This is so.. heartbreaking news to share. Ya Allah I don't even know how to start. To everyone yang mengenali abah saya, mohon panjatkan doa agar abah saya boleh kembali sihat seperti dulu. Moga Allah merahmati semua orang yang mendoakan abah saya. Abah is diagnosed with lung cancer. He is now a cancer fighter. It was all started when abah started to coughing non stop. We were all worried. Of course kami semua risau. Tapi tak cukup untuk diagnosed lebih awal. Ralat? Sangat. I am still crying up till today, regretting not forcing my abah to check his condition earlier. On May 2023, abah driving home from having his breakfast with mak outside. He suddenly felt like the world is spinning around, he thought it was earthquake. Abah berhenti drive and park tepi masjid. Keluar je kereta terus abah muntah-muntah. Went to the nearby clinic to check his condition, and the attending doctor noticed abah was coughing non stop. So the doctor asked him to do further tes...

 Assalamualaikum everyone! Today I felt so so so productive! I woke up pretty early? 9 am is cool huh for a weekend haha I usually spent like half of day on bed on Sunday hihi. It's Monday, I know I know but it's public holiday so I got up early and clean the house! Surprise? haha you shouldn't be! If you knew me well you would probably not surprise with what I did today. I swept the floor, from my room to living room to kitchen. Then I mopped twice, first with cleaner and tap water later. Next I clean the bathroom too. I literally sental the tiles, walls, sink, and toilet bowl and then I wash my clothes.  Shower and eat shin ramyun! Hihi 💅 Oh and I went out for a while, just wanna cuci mata haha and bought bread and tuna for tomorrow's lunch. I ironed my scrubs and folded the clothes while listening to Keshi's and Conan Gray's playlist oh the combination haha chef kiss 😘 And now I wrote a lil bit just wanna share how productive today was! I'm about to sle...

Assalamualaikum everyone! Selamat Hari Raya!! Phew I told ya I'm still here :D As promised before, I am now writing a post about my hari raya hihi. Alhamdulillah 2023's raya I got to celebrate with the whole family. When I said WHOLE, I mean it. Kaklong abang long, kakngah abang ngah, Wany and Muzaril, Izzati and Firdaus, the babies, all of them were there at rumah Rumbia 💖 My company allowed us to go back early, no working on Friday and thanks Allah, raya is on Saturday. I got to spend the last Ramadan at home. Zuly picked me up after work and we went home together hehe may Allah bless you Zuly, mak aku pun doa yang baik-baik untuk kau sebab tolong aku balik raya hari tu 😇 I tak sempat beli kasut raya ye guys! I don't understand but Melaka always crowded with people. Every single place you go, mesti got lot lot of people haih. So I ended up decided to not buy new shoes, just pakai apa yang ada je. And with that money I planned to buy shoes tapi tak jadi tu, I got to prep...

 Assalamualaikum hello peeps! Today is 24th Ramadan already! How fast time flies :( Well just want to update that I had broke the curse! LMAO nah it's just this year I finally got menses during Ramadan. It's not like I wished for it but somehow I thought I was abnormal (technically I AM ABNORMAL!) I broke the four years curse which I never get menses during past Ramadans. When I was in college I was so jealous with my friends yang period during Ramadan haha because you know they can drink water or eat Maggi after class. Ah so childish lol! I was bragging to my colleagues telling them I will get to fast the whole month without leaving any crumbs. And the way karma hits me real hard, the end of second week of Ramadan I was BOOMED! Ah so I can bleed too... Anyways... Today right after went home from work, me rushing to Kenanga Mall with Ana to buy baju raya. To be brutally honest, I wasn't planning to buy one... today. I just wanted to cuci mata. And since it's unplanned t...

 Hello Assalamualaikum everyone! I'm 26 this year and still missing blogging haha I used to update almost everyday when I was 14 but I guess doing it once a year isn't that bad, right? Today is Ramadan day 10 and just finished editing my Sabah trip 20 seconds video and uploaded on both my TikTok account and Instagram hehe. Not really editing, I just compiled all photos using the ready made template on CapCut eheh. Simple lifeeee. So far my Ramadan is great! *thumbs up* I woke up everyday and never missed sahur. I ate koko crunch almost everyday haha and dates! Going to work, having fun at work because my colleagues are the best. Walking back sambil tu menyinggah all the kedai-kedai jual juadah berbuka all the way home haha. Pastu berbuka time with housemates! And later after berbuka solat and mengaji, I play Sims 4 haha what a boring routine. Sometimes Netflix sometimes layan Cupcake Aisyah's Ramadan vlog pastu tertidur haha. I tak pergi terawih cuz don't ask me hm I go...