Abah (Pt 3)

Assalamualaikum. Here a quick update about abah. As of 16th September 2023, abah's condition is getting harder to explain. 

Abah mengadu abah sakit perut, which nobody knows how it feels. Tapi perut abah sakit sangat. I don't know which is which, this morning doctor suspected abah's blood is infected with.. entah. It's not confirm yet, but they're suspecting blood cancer too? I ain't believe things until result's out.

I can't even let what's in my mind out. It's haywiring. Too many to say, too much information but there's nothing I can do right now.

Everyone's mental state is unstable. Apa tah lagi abah. Ida taktahu abah, taktahu nak buat apa.

Ida harap abah terus kuat. But somehow Ida boleh faham apa yang ada dalam kepala abah. Tapi Ida taknak fikir benda tu.

Two days ago was really the hardest day I ever experienced. Abah marah-marah. Everything I did, abah marah. Every words I uttered, always made you angry with me. I ended up crying all the way home that night. I can't even explain whether I was sad getting yelled by you or it's just... my thoughts of losing you.

Last night was the same. Abah kept yelling at me. And suddenly abah was short of breath. I called nurse and nurse naikkan oxygen concentrator level untuk abah. Doctor drew blood for ABG test. And I stayed by his side until 10pm. Ida usap kepala abah, sampai abah tertidur. Tiba-tiba abah tarik tangan Ida and peluk Ida. Only Allah knew how broken my heart at that moment. I just realised Abah is so fragile. I can't hold my tears so I cried and keep kissing his forehead. We stayed like that for a solid 10 minutes.

Abah is supposed to start his immunotherapy next week, but since the doctor is suspecting infection in his blood, the immunotherapy is postponed? And just now abah sakit perut, doctor will arrange x-ray which I don't know when will they explain the result, so... I think the immunotherapy will be rescheduled.

Satu je Ida berharap, abah tak give up. Ida and kakak-kakak tengah cuba ni abah. Kami cuba sehabis baik. Kami korek mana-mana duit yang ada. Semoga Allah berkati usaha kami dan sembuhkan abah.