♥ Because Of You

Assalamualaikum. Sedekahkan bacaan al-fatihah to my abah, esok genap seminggu selepas abah tinggalkan ida, tinggalkan dunia ni. Abah, ada banyak benda yang belum lagi ida dapat tunaikan untuk abah. Ada banyak lagi perkara yang ida nak ceritakan. Ida rindu abah, tapi apakan daya, rindu kali ni tak dapat disampaikan dengan peluk dan cium lagi. Right after I posted the last entry on my blog, that night, kak long inform kami adik-beradik yang abah sakit sangat. Abah sakit perut yang teramat sangat. Dalam jam 10.55pm, abah dibawa ke emergency untuk x-ray bahagian perut abah. Doktor inform, perut abah banyak angin dan CT scan akan dibuat secepat mungkin. Tapi.. Abah tak tahan sangat, abah minta doktor operate abah segera. Tapi risiko sangat tinggi. Paru-paru abah cuma tinggal sebelah je yang berfungsi atas faktor kanser abah, so procedure intubation sangat imposible untuk dibuat dengan keadaan abah macam tu. Masa ida sampai je dekat ward pukul 12am tu, ida terus peluk abah. Takut. Takut sang

Assalamualaikum. Here a quick update about abah. As of 16th September 2023, abah's condition is getting harder to explain.  Abah mengadu abah sakit perut, which nobody knows how it feels. Tapi perut abah sakit sangat. I don't know which is which, this morning doctor suspected abah's blood is infected with.. entah. It's not confirm yet, but they're suspecting blood cancer too? I ain't believe things until result's out. I can't even let what's in my mind out. It's haywiring. Too many to say, too much information but there's nothing I can do right now. Everyone's mental state is unstable. Apa tah lagi abah. Ida taktahu abah, taktahu nak buat apa. Ida harap abah terus kuat. But somehow Ida boleh faham apa yang ada dalam kepala abah. Tapi Ida taknak fikir benda tu. Two days ago was really the hardest day I ever experienced. Abah marah-marah. Everything I did, abah marah. Every words I uttered, always made you angry with me. I ended up crying a