♥ Because Of You

Hi hello everyone. Just a quick update because 'zero entry' for over a year is way too much huh October 2025 It has been 4 months since I quit my previous job, that lasted me a total of 3 years living in KL. Now Selangor pulak dah haha. Still in the same field. But not exactly what I want. I will be going for an interview for a position in KKM, which I doubt to pass it but whatever. I will and I have to go in order for me to get the experience haha. But for sure I will do my best lah kan, because I desperately want to get a better position. If I pass, that's gonna be a jackpot bro! September 2025 I started to improve my lifestyle, I ate healthy food, workout every single day, and control what I ate. Definitely have my ups and downs lah kan, I also cheated a bit here and there haha and sometimes not doing a perfect 45 minutes workout (like today, I suddenly insist to write an entry just because I feel lazy to get up). My goal is to.... not look ugly anymore haha. I honestly ...

Assalamualaikum hi everyone! It's our first July, without Abah. We started our July with celebrating Emak's birthday. I love you mak, more than anything or everything that I ever told you. I suddenly realised that whenever I fell sick, he is the first person that comes across my mind. Abah has never left my head even for a second.  I'm sorry but my blog is now a gloomy place. I always find joy to write before, but now I only write when I feel down, or something bad happened to me.  I no longer enjoy my work now. Feeling suffocated and nothing can describe it, how it's no longer fit my expectation. No hopes.  Meeting old friends was undeniably the best thing I did last month. Seeing people that used to saw me at my lowest, my high, and finally I realised I'm not the only one struggling here. Not something to be glad of, but I pray to people that I loved, may Allah ease everything for you. Update of my life, as of 27 years old, because I'm very sure I will not be ...

Assalamualaikum everyone! Was supposed to continue writing my post about abah, but I was too occupied with many many things. Anyways, selamat hari raya to all of you! Alhamdulillah dapat beraya with the whole family again this year. Yesterday we took a family photo with everyone's in. Sebab our first Syawal tak complete pun. So yesterday after maghrib semua bersiap with our main outfit like pagi raya gittew and took few photos hihi. 2024's Syawal?  I happy. But surely everything hits different now without abah. No more ketupat anyaman dari abah. No more laughing and joking around during salam session. We were all crying haha. It was a very gloomy morning for all of us. Kalau abah ada, mesti abah busy sebab cucu cucu dia semua makin macam-macam perangai haha. Botak kepala atok! We visited one house that morning, then terus pergi kubur ziarah abah. Sedekahkan bacaan surah Yassin, balik rumah, and that's it. We changed our outfit. Pastu semua tidur haha.  Masa kat kubur abah, ...

Assalamualaikum. Walaupun abah dah tak ada, Ida rasa Ida tetap nak ceritakan pasal abah kat sini. Masa mula-mula abah warded, yang mana puncanya bila oxygen abah terlalu rendah selepas buat biopsy di PPUM hari tu, Ida masih in denial phase. Ida memang tak post/share kepada sesiapa or dekat mana-mana medium. Ida diam. Sebab bagi Ida, apa pun sakit yang abah alami, abah mesti akan sembuh. Padahal kelulusan sains. Padahal Ida belajar semua ni masa study dulu. Tapi tu lah, Ida tak percaya abah ada cancer. Abah pulak selalu menampakkan diri abah kuat, seolah-olah abah tak sakit. Bila abah nampak kuat, lagi Ida percaya yang abah tak sakit pun sebenarnya. Masa kawan abah datang ziarah, abah cerita semuanya dari awal sehinggalah macam mana abah boleh warded dekat kawan abah tu. Masa tu, abah kata "Aku ingatkan TB, batuk teruk, doktor pun ingat TB. Macam-macam test dah buat, tak dapat TB. TB taknak aku, kanser yang nak aku." Abah cakap sambil ketawa besar. Masa ni Ida senyum je. Tapi ...

Assalamualaikum. Sedekahkan bacaan al-fatihah to my abah, esok genap seminggu selepas abah tinggalkan ida, tinggalkan dunia ni. Abah, ada banyak benda yang belum lagi ida dapat tunaikan untuk abah. Ada banyak lagi perkara yang ida nak ceritakan. Ida rindu abah, tapi apakan daya, rindu kali ni tak dapat disampaikan dengan peluk dan cium lagi. Right after I posted the last entry on my blog, that night, kak long inform kami adik-beradik yang abah sakit sangat. Abah sakit perut yang teramat sangat. Dalam jam 10.55pm, abah dibawa ke emergency untuk x-ray bahagian perut abah. Doktor inform, perut abah banyak angin dan CT scan akan dibuat secepat mungkin. Tapi.. Abah tak tahan sangat, abah minta doktor operate abah segera. Tapi risiko sangat tinggi. Paru-paru abah cuma tinggal sebelah je yang berfungsi atas faktor kanser abah, so procedure intubation sangat imposible untuk dibuat dengan keadaan abah macam tu. Masa ida sampai je dekat ward pukul 12am tu, ida terus peluk abah. Takut. Takut sang...

Assalamualaikum. Here a quick update about abah. As of 16th September 2023, abah's condition is getting harder to explain.  Abah mengadu abah sakit perut, which nobody knows how it feels. Tapi perut abah sakit sangat. I don't know which is which, this morning doctor suspected abah's blood is infected with.. entah. It's not confirm yet, but they're suspecting blood cancer too? I ain't believe things until result's out. I can't even let what's in my mind out. It's haywiring. Too many to say, too much information but there's nothing I can do right now. Everyone's mental state is unstable. Apa tah lagi abah. Ida taktahu abah, taktahu nak buat apa. Ida harap abah terus kuat. But somehow Ida boleh faham apa yang ada dalam kepala abah. Tapi Ida taknak fikir benda tu. Two days ago was really the hardest day I ever experienced. Abah marah-marah. Everything I did, abah marah. Every words I uttered, always made you angry with me. I ended up crying a...

  Assalamualaikum Abah's condition is deteriorating. Last two days I came visit him, and he ate a bowl of porridge. I can still make jokes and he can play along with it. Yesterday, he talked less. Was told he kinda loss his voice probably due to medicine or prolong used of ventilator? I don't know just roughly guessing.  And today, he talked lesser. Just hand gestures to give instructions to me, or just nodding for yes and shaking as in no. I am sad. Seeing him blank-staring all the time. He whispered to me "abah letih". I stop him from saying any negative words, all I said was "takpe abah, nanti okay", when I knew it didn't ease him at all. I don't know how to cheer him up. Alhamdulillah today kak long staying up with abah at ward. Hopefully abah will gain all the energy back seeing his first daughter with him. Abah will undergo stenting procedure tomorrow (01.09.2023). Wishing everything goes well for him. Berharap after the procedure, abah can bre...

Assalamualaikum hai semua. This is so.. heartbreaking news to share. Ya Allah I don't even know how to start. To everyone yang mengenali abah saya, mohon panjatkan doa agar abah saya boleh kembali sihat seperti dulu. Moga Allah merahmati semua orang yang mendoakan abah saya. Abah is diagnosed with lung cancer. He is now a cancer fighter. It was all started when abah started to coughing non stop. We were all worried. Of course kami semua risau. Tapi tak cukup untuk diagnosed lebih awal. Ralat? Sangat. I am still crying up till today, regretting not forcing my abah to check his condition earlier. On May 2023, abah driving home from having his breakfast with mak outside. He suddenly felt like the world is spinning around, he thought it was earthquake. Abah berhenti drive and park tepi masjid. Keluar je kereta terus abah muntah-muntah. Went to the nearby clinic to check his condition, and the attending doctor noticed abah was coughing non stop. So the doctor asked him to do further tes...

 Assalamualaikum everyone! Today I felt so so so productive! I woke up pretty early? 9 am is cool huh for a weekend haha I usually spent like half of day on bed on Sunday hihi. It's Monday, I know I know but it's public holiday so I got up early and clean the house! Surprise? haha you shouldn't be! If you knew me well you would probably not surprise with what I did today. I swept the floor, from my room to living room to kitchen. Then I mopped twice, first with cleaner and tap water later. Next I clean the bathroom too. I literally sental the tiles, walls, sink, and toilet bowl and then I wash my clothes.  Shower and eat shin ramyun! Hihi 💅 Oh and I went out for a while, just wanna cuci mata haha and bought bread and tuna for tomorrow's lunch. I ironed my scrubs and folded the clothes while listening to Keshi's and Conan Gray's playlist oh the combination haha chef kiss 😘 And now I wrote a lil bit just wanna share how productive today was! I'm about to sle...

Assalamualaikum everyone! Selamat Hari Raya!! Phew I told ya I'm still here :D As promised before, I am now writing a post about my hari raya hihi. Alhamdulillah 2023's raya I got to celebrate with the whole family. When I said WHOLE, I mean it. Kaklong abang long, kakngah abang ngah, Wany and Muzaril, Izzati and Firdaus, the babies, all of them were there at rumah Rumbia 💖 My company allowed us to go back early, no working on Friday and thanks Allah, raya is on Saturday. I got to spend the last Ramadan at home. Zuly picked me up after work and we went home together hehe may Allah bless you Zuly, mak aku pun doa yang baik-baik untuk kau sebab tolong aku balik raya hari tu 😇 I tak sempat beli kasut raya ye guys! I don't understand but Melaka always crowded with people. Every single place you go, mesti got lot lot of people haih. So I ended up decided to not buy new shoes, just pakai apa yang ada je. And with that money I planned to buy shoes tapi tak jadi tu, I got to prep...

 Assalamualaikum hello peeps! Today is 24th Ramadan already! How fast time flies :( Well just want to update that I had broke the curse! LMAO nah it's just this year I finally got menses during Ramadan. It's not like I wished for it but somehow I thought I was abnormal (technically I AM ABNORMAL!) I broke the four years curse which I never get menses during past Ramadans. When I was in college I was so jealous with my friends yang period during Ramadan haha because you know they can drink water or eat Maggi after class. Ah so childish lol! I was bragging to my colleagues telling them I will get to fast the whole month without leaving any crumbs. And the way karma hits me real hard, the end of second week of Ramadan I was BOOMED! Ah so I can bleed too... Anyways... Today right after went home from work, me rushing to Kenanga Mall with Ana to buy baju raya. To be brutally honest, I wasn't planning to buy one... today. I just wanted to cuci mata. And since it's unplanned t...

 Hello Assalamualaikum everyone! I'm 26 this year and still missing blogging haha I used to update almost everyday when I was 14 but I guess doing it once a year isn't that bad, right? Today is Ramadan day 10 and just finished editing my Sabah trip 20 seconds video and uploaded on both my TikTok account and Instagram hehe. Not really editing, I just compiled all photos using the ready made template on CapCut eheh. Simple lifeeee. So far my Ramadan is great! *thumbs up* I woke up everyday and never missed sahur. I ate koko crunch almost everyday haha and dates! Going to work, having fun at work because my colleagues are the best. Walking back sambil tu menyinggah all the kedai-kedai jual juadah berbuka all the way home haha. Pastu berbuka time with housemates! And later after berbuka solat and mengaji, I play Sims 4 haha what a boring routine. Sometimes Netflix sometimes layan Cupcake Aisyah's Ramadan vlog pastu tertidur haha. I tak pergi terawih cuz don't ask me hm I go...

 9th of November 2020, Monday. Assalamualaikum, hello everyone :) Ah it has been a while since I posted something here. Nothing worth to be read, today I just feel like writing. To recap on what actually happened before, yes, I made it. I finished last semester very well. Thank you to all who have been supporting me all this while. It took me months to actually recover from all the bad things and thoughts that passed by through my mind. And realized, after all, 2020 wasn't bad at all. Despite all the hardships that I've been through, I finally found the broken pieces and the peace it brought to me. 2020 isn't over yet, but I believe I can meet 2021 in one piece. InshaAllah. So many things happened in 2020, I don't think I will be able to make it short here. But, okay let me try. January 2020 - I was so short of money. I actually working part time few months before, but wasn't able to receive the pay before starting the new semester. And I don't really know how t...

Hello assalamualaikum people :) Just a quick visit to my baby here hehe okay I was actually quite busy these past few weeks ha macam biasalah, a student life, what do you expect Ida? And gonna be moreee busy after this. Hence, I decided to just wrote few things that I really wanted to share with the people here. Just few. Heh. How to start eh? Haha. Em you know this pandemic season really got my life a bit.. no, not my life. My emotion. Yah this pandemic season really got my emotion on a roller coaster mode. Kadang-kadang I happy not because people are dying and struggling, absolutely not for that reasons. I was happy because I got plenty of time to spend with my family. I think this is like the longest time I ever had - to be at home and actually doing nothing. I'm not even doing the part time job like I usually did on every semester breaks. I don't know why... okay lah I knew the reason is I was taking precaution from the virus and yadah yadah, and when the surroundi...

Assalamualaikum hello earthlings! Aha it's me again. Hahaha. I'm not gonna use bahasa baku or bahasa sopan in today's post. Sebab rasa macam nak rempit je, malas. Hahaha. Sumpah hari ni extra rajin, I pun taktahu lah kenapa. Last night I slept at 2 or 3ish o'clock, I can't remember the exact time, sebab memang TERtidur. I do some writing on my thesis and YAYY I already submitted my Chapter Four to my SV hehe! A bit late, but better late than never kan? Ceh, sedapkan hati sendiri. Oh ya okay I was being extra today sebab okay lemme tell you, I woke up at 10 am! And nobody's home. Hahah my parents going to Hospital Melaka, my sister of course lah pergi kerja. It's Monday people! Then I bukak tudung saji ada bihun okay noted! Then straight to turn on the television. Nothing...  And I tinjau tingkap, 'oh baju tak sidai lagi' . Terus pergi dapur and take out all baju-baju yang mak dah basuh before keluar pagi tadi dari mesin basuh. Pastu ma...

Hai assalamualaikum semua! How are you guys today? Hopefully semua sihat belaka deh :) Semalam saya kemas buku-buku yang ada dalam our old luggage dekat bilik belakang. To be honest, bilik belakang tu sangatlah kecil and dah terlalu semak dengan barang-barang yang terasa sayang nak buang. Heh waktu mengemas ni memang selalu rasa 'eh ni nak guna lagi ' 'eh yang ni sayang lah nak buang' 'eh yang ni banyak sentimental value taw!' dan pelbagai lagi jenis 'eh' yang timbul. Makan masa seminggu juga sebelum tidur terfikirkan nasib buku-buku dan barang-barang yang bakal dibuang/dipindah hak milik nanti. Even last night lepas dah sorted out buku-buku yang masih nak simpan dan jual pun masih terasa sedih. Hahaha punyalah sayang. Bercakap tentang buku.. I started to have my own books since I was 9 years old. Buku cerita lah. I still remember the story line of that book. Pasal ibu ayam dan musang. But that was an English book. When I said 'to...

Assalamualaikum hello beautiful people :) Wow so this year I already posted three entries (including this one). Applause! So what's with the title? 'You, who need to inspire yourself'? Hm believe me or not, I have to present any of my favourite quotes in my class tomorrow! And just one quote! So out of many quotes that I loved, I choose "Letting Go Isn't A Weakness, but.." First and foremost, I believe that most of you here must have gone through a condition where you're hardly to make a move from. Just once is more than enough. Nobody should proudly said that, "I never felt that way before?" . At least if you're not realised or maybe you do not know whether you've been through this kind of situation before, please do not overconfident. I remember what my sister said to me, "Allah menguji kita dengan kata-kata kita" . Indeed, she is right. You'll never know what tomorrow holds. No matter how we want things to ...