tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29354123967725708312024-03-14T13:11:00.151+08:00β₯ Because Of YouSaiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.comBlogger283125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-78052410231921447612023-10-03T21:24:00.004+08:002023-10-03T21:25:28.124+08:00Abah (Pt 5)<p style="text-align: justify;">Assalamualaikum.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Walaupun abah dah tak ada, Ida rasa Ida tetap nak ceritakan pasal abah kat sini.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Masa mula-mula abah warded, yang mana puncanya bila oxygen abah terlalu rendah selepas buat biopsy di PPUM hari tu, Ida masih in denial phase. Ida memang tak post/share kepada sesiapa or dekat mana-mana medium. Ida diam. Sebab bagi Ida, apa pun sakit yang abah alami, abah mesti akan sembuh.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ8r-N3oOPvb98dMs5AJLQEZouBkl4D9u6Eh8ewts-YML_j87ZyHFjxZFmvUwiBFSe_PKhXVFXvT6irzNc684vWBg0MdzudGE3Pvs_6db9pHj275vKjolD0X9CjfwhWsdzUpseQLaqlbUkHekpKezmHaJhAhIfrADgrsaVAscT0RRNdCU_UOwG0YZr/s1280/8e78c5e7-5ac6-4874-b3ff-64204a68069a.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ8r-N3oOPvb98dMs5AJLQEZouBkl4D9u6Eh8ewts-YML_j87ZyHFjxZFmvUwiBFSe_PKhXVFXvT6irzNc684vWBg0MdzudGE3Pvs_6db9pHj275vKjolD0X9CjfwhWsdzUpseQLaqlbUkHekpKezmHaJhAhIfrADgrsaVAscT0RRNdCU_UOwG0YZr/w300-h400/8e78c5e7-5ac6-4874-b3ff-64204a68069a.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Padahal kelulusan sains. Padahal Ida belajar semua ni masa study dulu. Tapi tu lah, Ida tak percaya abah ada cancer.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Abah pulak selalu menampakkan diri abah kuat, seolah-olah abah tak sakit. Bila abah nampak kuat, lagi Ida percaya yang abah tak sakit pun sebenarnya.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Masa kawan abah datang ziarah, abah cerita semuanya dari awal sehinggalah macam mana abah boleh warded dekat kawan abah tu. Masa tu, abah kata</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>"Aku ingatkan TB, batuk teruk, doktor pun ingat TB. Macam-macam test dah buat, tak dapat TB. TB taknak aku, kanser yang nak aku."</i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtxl4Axxy4iyGB47odJyI47faS38M-Uz62jCVmXceF7m_PslTQyUr8h9HVG-2Gl165_h29_b3aX1uAr6hk9-iZwoG7fhK00eYFVvFWmQa5-WvZCs_3YR1xs3M_frl8CHvmfzd2SnvMpqSIKwndBXeSE5jfHr4qAKyDFQH5A1fPQVlXVgB3Psv19sc/s4032/IMG_7688.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtxl4Axxy4iyGB47odJyI47faS38M-Uz62jCVmXceF7m_PslTQyUr8h9HVG-2Gl165_h29_b3aX1uAr6hk9-iZwoG7fhK00eYFVvFWmQa5-WvZCs_3YR1xs3M_frl8CHvmfzd2SnvMpqSIKwndBXeSE5jfHr4qAKyDFQH5A1fPQVlXVgB3Psv19sc/w400-h300/IMG_7688.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Abah cakap sambil ketawa besar. Masa ni Ida senyum je. Tapi air mata dah menitik-nitik dah atas baju abah sebab Ida tumpang letak kepala dekat bahu abah masa ni. Abah tetap dengan diri abah, kuat bergurau. Suka menceriakan suasana.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Ada satu malam tu, lepas mengaji Ida rasa nak video call abah. Biasa lah, rindu. Ida call and tanya khabar abah, lepas tu abah menangis. Ida rasa Ida tak pernah nampak abah menangis seteruk tu. Ida and abah dua-dua diam tak berkata, tapi menangis sama-sama. Abah kata abah susah bernafas.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMBdh3w7G4pTHuruuA3pHOJPulq7ls1mhCKsul-VE-qlXRBZu2NiU37wKILA17GnrOvg-2X9A3u_j_6kC_QSdPtrLpQ13iMt5OfoLgcrBRmpRZjzgyK01Pw07WVW_h0lmJnCxE-WzrRjY9fKqmTLGN3JT6c0G5kYkLlMgECKZ0pP9on8F-ehztiSyr/s2532/IMG_7678.PNG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2532" data-original-width="1170" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMBdh3w7G4pTHuruuA3pHOJPulq7ls1mhCKsul-VE-qlXRBZu2NiU37wKILA17GnrOvg-2X9A3u_j_6kC_QSdPtrLpQ13iMt5OfoLgcrBRmpRZjzgyK01Pw07WVW_h0lmJnCxE-WzrRjY9fKqmTLGN3JT6c0G5kYkLlMgECKZ0pP9on8F-ehztiSyr/w185-h400/IMG_7678.PNG" width="185" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Diam-diam, abah sebenarnya bersedih dengan apa yang abah lalui tu. Abah jarang sakit. Paling dahsyat pun abah sakit gigi. Abah tak pernah sakit teruk. Tapi bila jadi macam ni, di usia yang tak berapa nak tua dan tak berapa nak muda, abah jatuh sakit, sakit yang maha dahsyat. Hanya abah dan Allah saja yang tahu sakit ditanggung tu.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Masa fasa ni, abah masih mampu makan nasi, masih boleh berjalan untuk ke tandas, masih mampu ketawa besar, masih ada suara. Masa ni abah masih kuat. Cuma bergantung kepada tong oxygen with flow rate yang rendah.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf7TywomGpcqtdaIJcYpFW95g8eHRB_QvuhrFn3IaRylYtGsrIJQNaGRpd3kwYquJPUxBN1sAPHDXKdG3BI0EnWMng4T5_iKmA7kkAsvdIre_0FqXMhpdgQXQUXbSZjzvJINSFla_FnzgYPQXFBUHGVG1qRL3dPIPAOApSFstLSWRbRSP3lki0hoG7/s4032/IMG_7824.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhf7TywomGpcqtdaIJcYpFW95g8eHRB_QvuhrFn3IaRylYtGsrIJQNaGRpd3kwYquJPUxBN1sAPHDXKdG3BI0EnWMng4T5_iKmA7kkAsvdIre_0FqXMhpdgQXQUXbSZjzvJINSFla_FnzgYPQXFBUHGVG1qRL3dPIPAOApSFstLSWRbRSP3lki0hoG7/w300-h400/IMG_7824.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Selepas seminggu abah warded, kami mintak doctor discharge abah. Alhamdulillah abah dapat balik kampung halaman. Dapat bermain dengan Fia, cucu perempuan sulung abah. Seronok tengok abah happy masa hari nak discharge tu. Kakak-kakak memang dah prepare semua tong oxygen yang portable, machine oxygen untuk dalam rumah, kerusi plastik untuk abah duduk waktu mandi. Semua dah sedia.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Seminggu abah dapat duduk Melaka dan berjumpa adik-beradik, kawan-kawan dia. Adik abah, Pakbik pun dapat keluar makan malam dengan abah, abah berbekalkan pump semput abah pergi ke kedai makan malam tu. Haha semua risau sebab abah pergi tak bagitahu sesiapa pun. Alhamdulillah, rupanya abah masih boleh bertahan tanpa tong oxygen masa tu. Abah makan bakso. Sedap betul abah kata bakso kedai tu. Sampaikan sehari sebelum abah meninggal tu abah masih sebut-sebut pasal bakso tu.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Hujung minggu tu abah dan Pakbik keluar sampai ke Perak untuk cari alternatif rawatan tradisional. Kami tak halang sebab masing-masing tahu abah sedang berusaha mencari rawatan.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Balik sahaja dari Perak, Ida jumpa abah dekat rumah Izzati. Masa ni dapat peluk abah rasa macam lega sangat. Rindu yang teramat sangat. Abah pun peluk sambil cakap, </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDJ0wIcdocwHz0_8ElZXBMAIYoRrkm7urg9OM2E8xBoPFsETfyzAsYtdyv4qgHqXCzz9b2hjjdAHP_9mz-IlciJK_DQXAIX0fuFD1sYEWltRp0aQqxYc1gMedjgurslkPhky1gHZOB7NV-xnYLGDYWzu7xStIRWOTFFCwwPzR_XnBF2vr13Dq1vTGZ/s4032/IMG_7900.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDJ0wIcdocwHz0_8ElZXBMAIYoRrkm7urg9OM2E8xBoPFsETfyzAsYtdyv4qgHqXCzz9b2hjjdAHP_9mz-IlciJK_DQXAIX0fuFD1sYEWltRp0aQqxYc1gMedjgurslkPhky1gHZOB7NV-xnYLGDYWzu7xStIRWOTFFCwwPzR_XnBF2vr13Dq1vTGZ/w300-h400/IMG_7900.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>"Sampai pun anak bongsu abah ni, nasib nampak mana satu abah"</i></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Abah cakap macam tu sebab kat situ ada Pakbik sekali haha. Walaupun abah dan Pakbik adik-beradik, muka diorang lain! Takkan lah Ida boleh tersilap yang mana abah yang mana pakcik sedara.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Sepanjang hari tu memang melekat je lah Ida duduk sebelah abah. Sampailah waktu maghrib, abah nak ambil wuduk untuk solat. Keluar je bilik air, abah datang dekat Ida abah bagitahu abah rasa mengah. Abah kata sebab rumah Izzati tinggi sangat, oxygen tak sampai. Cepat-cepat abah pakai mesin oxygen tu sambil duduk cuba menenangkan diri. Bila dah rasa okay, abah teruskan solat.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx2nk5qEJwtAXUuyPu7-WIkSsVGKZUpAww9Afm24lzYl6IWu8KCrHEt0YI4YF04SwG7F35P_jpqUw31zeXP-VX3v1xXKnwQl-crXP4WIuv3tI11I59unk56cbtH4KrbhC5DJ8rssDxEUonkkAZWQ1QokNhRhOUavGoGQ1MWeJ7v0ZSLJtAVT2LkOHm/s4032/IMG_7901.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx2nk5qEJwtAXUuyPu7-WIkSsVGKZUpAww9Afm24lzYl6IWu8KCrHEt0YI4YF04SwG7F35P_jpqUw31zeXP-VX3v1xXKnwQl-crXP4WIuv3tI11I59unk56cbtH4KrbhC5DJ8rssDxEUonkkAZWQ1QokNhRhOUavGoGQ1MWeJ7v0ZSLJtAVT2LkOHm/w300-h400/IMG_7901.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Malam tu, abah berborak pasal macam mana Rasulullah percayakan Khalid al-Walid dan tentera Islam dalam peperangan, sehinggakan Rasulullah yakin Rom akan menang. Abah cerita banyak sangat, tentang pedang Saidina Ali, ceritakan macam mana Rasulullah wafat. Semuanya diselang-seli dengan info dari kak long jugak. Sama-sama duduk berborak. Abah cerita macam mana al-Quran dulu-dulu tu berbeza dengan Rasm Usmani. Macam-macam benda Ida tahu hari tu. Rasa macam wow ingatan abah sangat kuat! Terutamanya zaman-zaman abah remaja dan zaman abah belajar agama.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Lepas abah makan, dah nak pukul 10pm macam tu, abah mengah lagi. So abah guna tong oxygen tu untuk bernafas lancar. Sambil tu Ida bukak channel al-Hijrah, ada siarkan bacaan al-Mulk. Ida baca lah kuat-kuat sambil abah bersandar sebelah Ida. Mula-mula abah dengar sekali, tiba-tiba Ida rasa kepala abah makin melentok. Dengar abah berdengkur, ohh tertidur dah rupanya. Mungkin letih sangat baru sampai dari Perak.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Dah nak pukul 12am macam tu, Wany dan mak sampai dari Melaka. Ceria abah bila nampak diorang, terutama nampak Fia si cucu kesayangan. Dapat abah peluk cium Fia. Seronok sangat nampak semua orang happy. Alhamdulillah. Ida pun balik rumah sewa sendiri lepas nampak mak dan Wany sampai.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Nanti Ida sambung lagi.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMDYjvtC3hQHIw1gYzYANMoGQJeswj8dPU0MZDgIUQ-a0yKfmwrEafMXzx_2Z3WlBArT97LLmkfB8HY__fr5K6O70-b_pqJMrIY7B2ssihbTJL0Gvs_CagcKHUyzx_KNBRnjs0I55XEPPwyiDzbweVxA2pEbUMFz_aGUFwly94u6zaH7hvQMfQKkeQ/s4032/IMG_7805.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMDYjvtC3hQHIw1gYzYANMoGQJeswj8dPU0MZDgIUQ-a0yKfmwrEafMXzx_2Z3WlBArT97LLmkfB8HY__fr5K6O70-b_pqJMrIY7B2ssihbTJL0Gvs_CagcKHUyzx_KNBRnjs0I55XEPPwyiDzbweVxA2pEbUMFz_aGUFwly94u6zaH7hvQMfQKkeQ/w300-h400/IMG_7805.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-66809334299467186742023-09-23T21:41:00.001+08:002023-09-23T21:57:41.995+08:00Abah (pt 4)<div style="text-align: justify;">Assalamualaikum. Sedekahkan bacaan al-fatihah to my abah, esok genap seminggu selepas abah tinggalkan ida, tinggalkan dunia ni.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_FcwmvSsVLfpSYzs5b54wnRCLtg4QjF3a23cFIDQ3qmHTplp5ab32djtx1K5ge2g66P4BSM9WMnEaT54IkdJ7bNduP_p0uAv2zMusMbOHor-OpfGW0VKJkugWyGb3YKByMhfYo3zTLkspii3mwGgo2w1UPd5nMmsb4lX6Txq54WcIH6IXolQihX8k" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1024" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_FcwmvSsVLfpSYzs5b54wnRCLtg4QjF3a23cFIDQ3qmHTplp5ab32djtx1K5ge2g66P4BSM9WMnEaT54IkdJ7bNduP_p0uAv2zMusMbOHor-OpfGW0VKJkugWyGb3YKByMhfYo3zTLkspii3mwGgo2w1UPd5nMmsb4lX6Txq54WcIH6IXolQihX8k=w400-h313" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Abah, ada banyak benda yang belum lagi ida dapat tunaikan untuk abah. Ada banyak lagi perkara yang ida nak ceritakan. Ida rindu abah, tapi apakan daya, rindu kali ni tak dapat disampaikan dengan peluk dan cium lagi.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Right after I posted the last entry on my blog, that night, kak long inform kami adik-beradik yang abah sakit sangat. Abah sakit perut yang teramat sangat. Dalam jam 10.55pm, abah dibawa ke emergency untuk x-ray bahagian perut abah. Doktor inform, perut abah banyak angin dan CT scan akan dibuat secepat mungkin.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Tapi..</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Abah tak tahan sangat, abah minta doktor operate abah segera. Tapi risiko sangat tinggi. Paru-paru abah cuma tinggal sebelah je yang berfungsi atas faktor kanser abah, so procedure intubation sangat imposible untuk dibuat dengan keadaan abah macam tu.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Masa ida sampai je dekat ward pukul 12am tu, ida terus peluk abah. Takut. Takut sangat kehilangan abah. Doktor pakar bius panggil kami semua untuk inform keadaan semasa abah. Doktor inform.. operation memang tak boleh dibuat. Doktor diagnosed keadaan abah as 'Perforated Gastric Ulcer'. Perut abah dah bocor.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Ida, kakak-kakak, dan mak menangis saja sepanjang waktu doktor inform tu. Macam-macam soalan ada dalam kepala, tapi tak terluah nak tanya doktor. Nasib ada mak dan kakak-kakak yang tanyakan soalan macam... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i>"apa punca perut abah bocor, doktor?"</i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>"kemungkinan daripada tekanan/stress yang melampau, perut terlalu acidic"</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i>"sekarang ni apa yang abah saya boleh buat?"</i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>"kami boleh bagi pakcik ambil ubat tahan sakit saja"</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i>"berapa lama abah saya boleh bertahan dengan ubat tu?"</i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>"mungkin 1 atau 2 hari, mungkin juga 1 atau 2 minggu."</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i>"..."</i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>"tapi kami minta jangan meletakkan harapan yang terlalu tinggi"</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i>"faham doktor"</i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Dah takda apa yang dapat ida buat masa ni abah. Ida taknak dah dengar apa yang doktor cakap lagi. Ida terus masuk balik ward abah, terus peluk dan nangis di bahu abah. Kesian abah.. kenapa abah? Kenapa abah yang kena lalui semua ni?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Abah mintak untuk peluk semua anak-anak abah, untuk peluk isteri tercinta abah. Satu-satu datang salam dan mintak ampun dengan abah. Masa ni.... ida rasa dunia ida sangat gelap. Abah menahan sakit. Berpeluh-peluh dahi abah, tapi abah boleh terus senyum and lambai-lambai tangan menandakan abah reda kalau abah pergi pagi tu juga.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Ida tetap marah abah mintak abah jangan fikir bukan-bukan.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Abah banyak kali tegakkan badan dan duduk tanda tak selesa menahan sakit. Abah boleh minum air zam-zam satu cawan, abah pegang sendiri cawan tu. Abah tak guna straw pun. Kemudian abah baring semula. Abah mintak ida bacakan yassin. Abah mintak semua orang bacakan yassin untuk abah. Masa tu ida cakap "dah abah, ida baca dah tadi" sambil menangis-nangis. Tak faham kenapa abah nak mintak bacakan yassin. Ida nampak abah kuat sangat. Nampak abah macam hari-hari yang sebelumnya.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhSeJDAZzhkxwKHe4ftf4K5ls7FTvUyl2hpjP-6wDxHODGhvWHF17KmN5WtxAIQfl9YRSPG-trDaCkhCqC5wlbyTa13bvLdyHuCjkOblSXDkSGXrUuNs-yxiHT9n4Hkix-OUM6dwCRqYu08EdrYYslN5zX2rwq2rjDFtTchTGJ1nxKaWgYu0n8zWGsF" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhSeJDAZzhkxwKHe4ftf4K5ls7FTvUyl2hpjP-6wDxHODGhvWHF17KmN5WtxAIQfl9YRSPG-trDaCkhCqC5wlbyTa13bvLdyHuCjkOblSXDkSGXrUuNs-yxiHT9n4Hkix-OUM6dwCRqYu08EdrYYslN5zX2rwq2rjDFtTchTGJ1nxKaWgYu0n8zWGsF=w300-h400" width="300" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Tapi ida terus bacakan yassin dekat telinga abah. Abah dekatkan telinga and bahu abah ke arah ida, maybe untuk dengar dengan lebih jelas. Abah mencungap-cungap. Abah masih guna 15 LPM oxygen masa ni.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Abah berulang kali mintak kami peluk abah. Bergilir-gilir ida, kakak-kakak, dan mak datang peluk abah. Kami mengucap dua kalimah syahadah di telinga abah berulang-ulang kali. Abah angkat satu jari, abah pun menyebut jelas dua kalimah syahadah.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Bila abah dah mula nampak tenang, doktor datang bawak satu device which this device akan tambah dose ubat tahan sakit once abah tekan satu button. Doktor pesan dekat abah, kalau abah rasa sakit sangat, boleh tekan button tu. Abah angguk faham je. Kami teruskan mengaji dan baca bacaan yassin untuk abah.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Around 2.55am, kami nampak abah semakin bertenang. Kami assume abah dah kurang rasa sakit perut. Kak ngah mintak izin nak rehat sekejap dekat surau sebab kepala dia sakit sangat. Ida temankan kak ngah. Sebelum pergi surau, ida salam cium tangan abah. Dalam 3.20am, wany call kak ngah. Ida pun terjaga dari tidur ida. Wany bagitahu abah dah takda respond.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Ida dengan kak ngah masing-masing turun ke ward semula. Sampai je dekat katil abah, kakak-kakak yang lain tengah menangis sambil menyebut-nyebut kalimah Allah berulang kali dekat telinga abah. Ya Allah terhenti rasa jantung waktu tu. Ida cuba genggam tangan abah, abah dah tak balas balik, abah tak genggam semula seperti biasa. Yang jelas hanya peluh-peluh jernih di dahi, dan nafas pendek dan lembut kedengaran. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Allahuakbar</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Abah..</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Masa ni... abah memang dah nazak. Ida rasa nak meraung. Kak long titiskan air zam-zam dekat bibir dan dalam mulut abah, pada mulanya abah tak respond juga. Tapi untuk yang terakhir kalinya, abah genggam tangan ida kuat, abah telam air zam-zam yang kak long titiskan tadi, kemudian nafas pendek abah pun terhenti. Ida mintak abah jangan pergi, tapi Izzati ingatkan ida, kita kena reda.. Kesian abah....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjgomG6l4RXsJl7ieuXx8q5DZnFuesQIqZvQgXCpqcFHwqn8ddRVWQaDmhLSnAEeqxrzk8iEm4733fBLO_iCQLpYmYnf9_rp29CTVHPT_MU_MlsTFNTN4n-xJ2_SunQ1Kf3nKVqyc3u_dJEvCtYyA15BBnwxKLNaG_QDf9-kbIfhrBhBC6JKD0yCShD" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjgomG6l4RXsJl7ieuXx8q5DZnFuesQIqZvQgXCpqcFHwqn8ddRVWQaDmhLSnAEeqxrzk8iEm4733fBLO_iCQLpYmYnf9_rp29CTVHPT_MU_MlsTFNTN4n-xJ2_SunQ1Kf3nKVqyc3u_dJEvCtYyA15BBnwxKLNaG_QDf9-kbIfhrBhBC6JKD0yCShD=w300-h400" width="300" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Lembut sangat cara pemergian abah. Abah baring, macam abah tidur je. Abah boleh tersenyum dan melambai-lambai tangan. Abah dapat peluk anak-anak dan isteri. Abah boleh angkat satu jari abah dan mengucap dua kalimah syahadah. Seolah-olah abah dah prepare untuk semua ni. 4.04am 1 Rabiulawal 1445H bersamaan 17 September 2023, pada usia 63 tahun, Allah ambil abah. Cukup sehingga saat itu, Allah pinjamkan abah untuk ida.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Doktor sahkan abah meninggal kerana perut abah yang bocor, bukan kerana kanser paru-paru yang abah lawan selama ni. Allahuakbar.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Sukar nak terima kenyataan ni abah. Ida sedih, ida rasa macam abah masih ada. Tapi untuk memujuk hati, kawan-kawan baik abah ada beritahu, kematian abah ni dalam keadaan <a href="https://muftiwp.gov.my/ms/artikel/al-kafi-li-al-fatawi/3670-al-kafi-1359-apakah-tanda-tanda-kematian-yang-baik-husnul-khatimah" target="_blank">husnul khatimah</a>. Hadis-hadis juga menyatakan orang yang kematian kerana masalah di dalam perut juga <a href="https://www.muftiwp.gov.my/ms/artikel/irsyad-al-hadith/2885-irsyad-al-hadith-siri-ke-318-adakah-mati-kerana-sakit-perut-tidak-akan-di-azab-di-kubur" target="_blank">tidak akan dikenakan azab di dalam kubur</a>. Subhanallah wa Masyaallah, mudah-mudahan. Semoga syurga buat abah yang ida cintai dan sayangi.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjomC7I6iYPZOOVnOb6AwmdQio8vw5MwycUazGvJ8cTJacKZXjqH_PBH8CVO0VEazFtK3uVGwTvlExO4oZr2eY6QbOIZxIr4BxpVVkUSkjnWMnviN2HHri8BcCG4uf0ioJ02v85AYvvnAP3ceWZ9QioocVo_xHxD9DDLhpCuYkifDcXvcUcw0fwviFc" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjomC7I6iYPZOOVnOb6AwmdQio8vw5MwycUazGvJ8cTJacKZXjqH_PBH8CVO0VEazFtK3uVGwTvlExO4oZr2eY6QbOIZxIr4BxpVVkUSkjnWMnviN2HHri8BcCG4uf0ioJ02v85AYvvnAP3ceWZ9QioocVo_xHxD9DDLhpCuYkifDcXvcUcw0fwviFc=w300-h400" width="300" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">Terima kasih abah untuk segalanya. Terima kasih kerana kuat untuk segala hal. Abah yang ida sayangi yang ida kenali memang sukar nak tunjukkan dia sakit, abah sentiasa kuat untuk keluarga kecil abah. Ida sayang abah dunia dan akhirat. Ida rindukan abah. Semoga kita dapat berjumpa kembali nanti, ida dan yang lain-lain pun akan menyusul ikut abah. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Ya Allah ampunilah dosa abah, kasihanilah abah. Tempatkanlah abah dalam kalangan orang yang beriman. Luaskan kuburnya. Masukkanlah abah ke dalam syurgaMu. Lindungilah abah dari azab kubur dan azab api neraka. Semoga kami dapat berjumpa kembali nanti ya Allah. Aaminn ya Rabb.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjcq_eI9ia27V80UslbVEeFbsUA8TeRg5S-WYutEFo9SrYq_ERzLGNwphYk8QthytrkuAm4T88Dxkg5Mpi4UtKJjU81IW9gnYGBIcNYUFADjW1Uq03PZTFhMQ0Gz8SPHT4ykdfxm-03X8ycW56T8x3TOKlLSAvEs0q8qCvz-anE5m8YyRijOw4BsNEC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2532" data-original-width="1170" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjcq_eI9ia27V80UslbVEeFbsUA8TeRg5S-WYutEFo9SrYq_ERzLGNwphYk8QthytrkuAm4T88Dxkg5Mpi4UtKJjU81IW9gnYGBIcNYUFADjW1Uq03PZTFhMQ0Gz8SPHT4ykdfxm-03X8ycW56T8x3TOKlLSAvEs0q8qCvz-anE5m8YyRijOw4BsNEC=w296-h640" width="296" /></a></div><br /></div>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-62451340432113701902023-09-16T18:57:00.001+08:002023-09-16T18:57:07.017+08:00Abah (Pt 3)<p>Assalamualaikum. Here a quick update about abah. As of 16th September 2023, abah's condition is getting harder to explain. </p><p>Abah mengadu abah sakit perut, which nobody knows how it feels. Tapi perut abah sakit sangat. I don't know which is which, this morning doctor suspected abah's blood is infected with.. entah. It's not confirm yet, but they're suspecting blood cancer too? I ain't believe things until result's out.</p><p><br /></p><p>I can't even let what's in my mind out. It's haywiring. Too many to say, too much information but there's nothing I can do right now.</p><p><br /></p><p>Everyone's mental state is unstable. Apa tah lagi abah. Ida taktahu abah, taktahu nak buat apa.</p><p><br /></p><p>Ida harap abah terus kuat. But somehow Ida boleh faham apa yang ada dalam kepala abah. Tapi Ida taknak fikir benda tu.</p><p><br /></p><p>Two days ago was really the hardest day I ever experienced. Abah marah-marah. Everything I did, abah marah. Every words I uttered, always made you angry with me. I ended up crying all the way home that night. I can't even explain whether I was sad getting yelled by you or it's just... my thoughts of losing you.</p><p><br /></p><p>Last night was the same. Abah kept yelling at me. And suddenly abah was short of breath. I called nurse and nurse naikkan oxygen concentrator level untuk abah. Doctor drew blood for ABG test. And I stayed by his side until 10pm. Ida usap kepala abah, sampai abah tertidur. Tiba-tiba abah tarik tangan Ida and peluk Ida. Only Allah knew how broken my heart at that moment. I just realised Abah is so fragile. I can't hold my tears so I cried and keep kissing his forehead. We stayed like that for a solid 10 minutes.</p><p><br /></p><p>Abah is supposed to start his immunotherapy next week, but since the doctor is suspecting infection in his blood, the immunotherapy is postponed? And just now abah sakit perut, doctor will arrange x-ray which I don't know when will they explain the result, so... I think the immunotherapy will be rescheduled.</p><p><br /></p><p>Satu je Ida berharap, abah tak give up. Ida and kakak-kakak tengah cuba ni abah. Kami cuba sehabis baik. Kami korek mana-mana duit yang ada. Semoga Allah berkati usaha kami dan sembuhkan abah.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikoPTZoRGSO8QhiQY07CMdKTBCPpo7obsvFeItKTaRVMPFittbQglg27wiS1OdUTt3xbqacxNOwd3bLTDPJ9x2UiNDXEpiNNf7GpWMBpDtQPOM9h5mvvMn_-gDaMFlAMWGDhCkJrrI2KPcQazw_O80jShQki4kRI0DAXcicIwlyhCFGbmsVyYAHEJR/s4032/IMG_8232.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikoPTZoRGSO8QhiQY07CMdKTBCPpo7obsvFeItKTaRVMPFittbQglg27wiS1OdUTt3xbqacxNOwd3bLTDPJ9x2UiNDXEpiNNf7GpWMBpDtQPOM9h5mvvMn_-gDaMFlAMWGDhCkJrrI2KPcQazw_O80jShQki4kRI0DAXcicIwlyhCFGbmsVyYAHEJR/w300-h400/IMG_8232.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-63768250652131747002023-08-31T20:41:00.004+08:002023-08-31T20:41:30.244+08:00Abah (Pt 2)<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPY5rhjbIFcAGbRXQ1rmK_6k-urvUWjgjci8O9AAK6Upyej0vaILLBLfZ58RehALdcayUuGK47O3yrWU54f-02tB_8RCJ5AQx-qhWmjff_kLEebPLHtbG78y5CNPsUbVQDWBoJ0BXiZYmWZ9iyHSKaYxrRuB51-a5E8BRuGPTzIuZrr-yvbAXbERiW/s4032/IMG_8047.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPY5rhjbIFcAGbRXQ1rmK_6k-urvUWjgjci8O9AAK6Upyej0vaILLBLfZ58RehALdcayUuGK47O3yrWU54f-02tB_8RCJ5AQx-qhWmjff_kLEebPLHtbG78y5CNPsUbVQDWBoJ0BXiZYmWZ9iyHSKaYxrRuB51-a5E8BRuGPTzIuZrr-yvbAXbERiW/w300-h400/IMG_8047.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><p></p><p>Assalamualaikum</p><p><br /></p><p>Abah's condition is deteriorating. Last two days I came visit him, and he ate a bowl of porridge. I can still make jokes and he can play along with it. Yesterday, he talked less. Was told he kinda loss his voice probably due to medicine or prolong used of ventilator? I don't know just roughly guessing. </p><p><br /></p><p>And today, he talked lesser. Just hand gestures to give instructions to me, or just nodding for yes and shaking as in no. I am sad. Seeing him blank-staring all the time. He whispered to me "abah letih". I stop him from saying any negative words, all I said was "takpe abah, nanti okay", when I knew it didn't ease him at all.</p><p><br /></p><p>I don't know how to cheer him up. Alhamdulillah today kak long staying up with abah at ward. Hopefully abah will gain all the energy back seeing his first daughter with him.</p><p><br /></p><p>Abah will undergo stenting procedure tomorrow (01.09.2023). Wishing everything goes well for him. Berharap after the procedure, abah can breathe normally or at least, mengurangkan rasa sesak nafas tu.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwXLttOODVMO2d8y4_YjhrolTOl_6BWeqh28tG6aWOgvZO9UdPllkXMThcKvGqtM2COXcg9tR4DhjST1c4KLsDQYbYyXPtrK9gldANxHbrkR1eF74YY2AwkUbehaRxg0IL393kZgnurcHULnK6b49XUfuYQsNCmocK2aUYcC4imIpxe_uVAPkAkO7h/s4032/IMG_8094.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwXLttOODVMO2d8y4_YjhrolTOl_6BWeqh28tG6aWOgvZO9UdPllkXMThcKvGqtM2COXcg9tR4DhjST1c4KLsDQYbYyXPtrK9gldANxHbrkR1eF74YY2AwkUbehaRxg0IL393kZgnurcHULnK6b49XUfuYQsNCmocK2aUYcC4imIpxe_uVAPkAkO7h/w300-h400/IMG_8094.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><p>Feeling a bit useless as a daughter but I can do nothing to help him. A bit down. I wish all of this was just a dream. I don't mind waking up after a long long sleep if this was only a bad dream. </p><p><br /></p><p>I miss abah so much. I miss having him at home. I miss getting scold by him. I miss the feeling of getting fetch by him at the railway station. I miss calling him and everytime he said 'ida dah nak sampai? nanti abah datang'. I miss his jokes. I miss his crazy and loud laugh. I miss his silly smile. I miss how he always backing me up when something happened at home.</p><p><br /></p><p>I miss him so much.</p><p><br /></p><p>Ya Allah please don't take him away from me. Sembuhkan lah abah. Angkatlah sakit yang abah sedang tanggung sekarang. I'm not ready for the worst. I still need abah in my life.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmHQqyyWUoTDN3BYVr-6z8ZrB7iUKnYYAmdPd2QNrq7tJaX_bp_ICuMfgj0Sltdy9P95LrJWXSdYumpwtsYWJze480aQRz9ri-5Q1fLQTkEsKuonyXVUKCeSO0WH6ufnTqjQCk5cFxTJ6NmM9SI0_4YpUTir5A8-MW-5hEzUNzT6k2sqFFRiPJFhQz/s3088/IMG_8048.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3088" data-original-width="2316" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmHQqyyWUoTDN3BYVr-6z8ZrB7iUKnYYAmdPd2QNrq7tJaX_bp_ICuMfgj0Sltdy9P95LrJWXSdYumpwtsYWJze480aQRz9ri-5Q1fLQTkEsKuonyXVUKCeSO0WH6ufnTqjQCk5cFxTJ6NmM9SI0_4YpUTir5A8-MW-5hEzUNzT6k2sqFFRiPJFhQz/w300-h400/IMG_8048.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-67260734107317054422023-08-25T22:47:00.000+08:002023-08-25T22:47:01.393+08:00Abah<p>Assalamualaikum hai semua.</p><p>This is so.. heartbreaking news to share. Ya Allah I don't even know how to start. To everyone yang mengenali abah saya, mohon panjatkan doa agar abah saya boleh kembali sihat seperti dulu. Moga Allah merahmati semua orang yang mendoakan abah saya.</p><p><br /></p><p>Abah is diagnosed with lung cancer. He is now a cancer fighter.</p><p><br /></p><p>It was all started when abah started to coughing non stop. We were all worried. Of course kami semua risau. Tapi tak cukup untuk diagnosed lebih awal. Ralat? Sangat. I am still crying up till today, regretting not forcing my abah to check his condition earlier.</p><p><br /></p><p>On May 2023, abah driving home from having his breakfast with mak outside. He suddenly felt like the world is spinning around, he thought it was earthquake. Abah berhenti drive and park tepi masjid. Keluar je kereta terus abah muntah-muntah.</p><p><br /></p><p>Went to the nearby clinic to check his condition, and the attending doctor noticed abah was coughing non stop. So the doctor asked him to do further tests; sputum and mantoux test. Abah buat x-ray jugak. He was suspected with TB.</p><p><br /></p><p>At this moment, we were all prayed for abah tested negative for TB because God knows how hard it is to be disciplined on completing the antibiotic for the treatment. </p><p><br /></p><p>And Allah answered our prayers. It's not TB, but it is worse than that. Abah's chest x-ray showed abnormality, his diagnosis was 'tro lung ca'. To rule out lung cancer. Allahuakbar, besar ujianMu ya Allah.</p><p><br /></p><p>Early July 2023, abah's backache getting worse. Apart from coughing, abah had suffered with backache for quite long. And again, how I wish we realised it sooner.</p><p><br /></p><p>The next step was to do CT thorax in order to get a better view of the mentioned 'abnormality'. So we brought abah to my workplace, test and result in just one day. I was obviously so nervous. Couldn't hide that fact. My colleagues will all knew it too but I really don't mind. </p><p><br /></p><p>Then the doctor said, abah's case was an urgent case. She advised us to do the next step immediately, which is biopsy. To get a sample from his lung and to rule out what is what.</p><p><br /></p><p>Financial constraint is our main concern. But abah's life matters the most. Alhamdulillah my sisters and families helped a lot. We managed to do the biopsy procedure at the private hospital but sadly on the date abah was supposed to do the biopsy, his oxygen level dropped badly. He was warded.</p><p><br /></p><p>Throughout this process, I knew abah was crying and having a hard time. Abah fully depends on ventilator. Abah was well aware of his current condition. While waiting for the result of biopsy, abah buat macam-macam test untuk tahu lebih lanjut berkaitan cancer ni. Gene test, blood test apatah lagi. Tangan and kaki abah berlubang-lubang sebab doctors and nurses banyak kali cucuk ambik darah. Hanya abah dan Allah je tahu sakit yang abah tanggung.</p><p><br /></p><p>Once the result out, we decided to take abah to GH Melaka, to get treatment there. However, the doctor advising us to continue the treatment at the previous private hospital as the place can offer much better than GH.</p><p><br /></p><p>We brought abah to KL again. Just few days after coming back to KL, abah semput. At 3am, my sister drove abah to emergency and getting quick treatment prior to that. The oxygen tank we prepared at home is now no longer enough to support abah.</p><p><br /></p><p>Abah masuk ward lagi. Never a day goes by without me crying rindukan abah, kasihankan abah. This is not what I expected to happen to abah. Throughout my 26 years of life, abah is like the embodiment of strength. He never showed his weakness to all of us. Abah has been using his whole body and life to feed us all. I never imagine myself to see this kind of thing with my own eyes. </p><p><br /></p><p>Sepanjang warded kali ni, dah beberapa kali abah diserang semput. I even saw it myself, on 22nd August 2023, on his wedding anniversary with mak. Abah was getting pigtail drainage procedure. Tebuk paru-paru untuk buang segala bengkak air dekat lung abah. Can you imagine his current condition? How bad it is sampaikan kena bertebuk.</p><p><br /></p><p>I hold his hand tightly, hoping the strength can be felt by him too. Semoga abah tahu, anak-anak abah memang tak pernah putus berharap dan berdoa untuk abah. I stayed with abah until 11pm. I tak sedar I was on menses, I was too busy looking after him. </p><p><br /></p><p>I knew I am not a big contributor, I got no money to give to the siblings and helping in terms of financial. Tapi Alhamdulillah ida dapat jaga abah sekejap-sekejap, mengharapkan abah maafkan kekurangan ida ni. Today, 25th August 2023, doctor discussed the result of CT pulmonary embolism abah did yesterday with my sister. Doctor keeps on reminding us about 'the few months left' and even told my abah the same thing. We were all so disappointed when we realised abah knew it too. Abah wasn't ready for it. He cried out loud. I have no strength to imagine it again.</p><p><br /></p><p>When this happened, only my sister was there with abah. She said abah kept asking for me. My sister thought I could calm him down, but nope. I was drenched with tears too. I can't hold it anymore, been pretending strong too long. My sister cakap, abah menangis and bagitahu dia nak nikahkan I. Then he said, he knew he will never be able to do that anymore.</p><p><br /></p><p>What on earth is he thinking.... abah you're not supposed to think about me at all. I also have got no time to think about myself. How could you do this to me abah.</p><p><br /></p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p><br /></p><p>How I wish it was me suffered all of this. Allah pindahkanlah sakit abah pada aku. Tak sanggup nak tengok abah tanggung semua ni. Abah thinking about mak a lot. He said he missed mak. He even dreamed of going out with mak, but sadly in his dream, mak is missing so he cried in his sleep looking for mak. He is so scared of losing mak...</p><p><br /></p><p>Ya allah, sembuhkanlah abah. Sembuhkanlah abah. Sembuhkanlah abah. Angkatlah sakit yang abah tanggung. Hanya kepadaMu aku berserah, semoga abah sihat dan kembali ke pangkuan kami semua. Aku rindukan abah.</p>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-55205865433192126872023-06-05T22:41:00.003+08:002023-06-05T22:41:50.233+08:00A Productive Weekend!<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"> Assalamualaikum everyone!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Today I felt so so so productive! I woke up pretty early? 9 am is cool huh for a weekend haha I usually spent like half of day on bed on Sunday hihi. It's Monday, I know I know but it's public holiday so I got up early and clean the house!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Surprise? haha you shouldn't be! If you knew me well you would probably not surprise with what I did today. I swept the floor, from my room to living room to kitchen. Then I mopped twice, first with cleaner and tap water later. Next I clean the bathroom too. I literally sental the tiles, walls, sink, and toilet bowl and then I wash my clothes. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Shower and eat shin ramyun! Hihi π </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Oh and I went out for a while, just wanna cuci mata haha and bought bread and tuna for tomorrow's lunch. I ironed my scrubs and folded the clothes while listening to Keshi's and Conan Gray's playlist oh the combination haha chef kiss π And now I wrote a lil bit just wanna share how productive today was! I'm about to sleep now haha.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">So it really hits different huh when you got extra weekend, ehem what I meant is two days break! haha since I always work 5.5 days/week, getting this much break made me so happy ππ oh to be grateful haha</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">That's it see ya!</span></p>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-69594151498880484302023-05-17T00:00:00.372+08:002023-05-17T00:00:00.139+08:00What I Learned In A Year!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="620" data-original-width="692" height="359" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUdo1XQBHQbDuXYpkeHU74BOYWOfNTXgCKd2cNBOcl1r6ys86kNNY9-Ss9tfBo8X5OeXN2MnEvp7s2dojzwDlAlZ4vF3zGPZne_SYSJpa1dpXjwNKrD5qeuvMBjQasEN2Wu1cT4UvExyNkXTZkugzRbI1Xf6gqoIszLziWnhbSHSIH8AAohZpN7Q/w400-h359/69E7ECF2-D694-4F37-B8AD-9693FEB4434C_1_105_c.jpeg" width="400" /></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Assalamualaikum everyyyyyone!</p><p style="text-align: justify;">A year has passed! Congratulation πͺ It's my first job and I made it a year hihi being me is not easy but yeah it's not that bad? People may find my job is meh and everyone keeps questioning me like "what you doin?" "not quit yet meh?" "how bout other job?" "you love your job?" "you gave up already looking for new job?" and et cetera.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Me avoiding to answer these questions doesn't mean I don't have any problems at my working place. I do have my ups and downs here. But somehow it demotivated me when people asking me things like this. Like... why not respecting my choice and my job? I know people gonna look down on me, being a nobody in a small company, unlike others especially when my current job is not related at all with what I studied previously. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">But I believe people asking because they're concerned about me. Thank you π</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1EovRay7aw6Hhs5sABbm7i2WCz4uWVTwBOMKvGKB9wP9WVyFVID-IaVlOsXLVzh5u5fPi-bkUwFon1PzLpUgsILCUnPKVnD1k6kSWeTmjcpVw2os6Kn-qMdVkv-RBM5JIxQLNRvYgmNXzRUvXFwQuCE32tVRpS5sZsYn39DzKXOKLARbmYTZC_Q/s1024/B0788127-D09A-48DD-90F0-5185A05A3339_1_105_c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1EovRay7aw6Hhs5sABbm7i2WCz4uWVTwBOMKvGKB9wP9WVyFVID-IaVlOsXLVzh5u5fPi-bkUwFon1PzLpUgsILCUnPKVnD1k6kSWeTmjcpVw2os6Kn-qMdVkv-RBM5JIxQLNRvYgmNXzRUvXFwQuCE32tVRpS5sZsYn39DzKXOKLARbmYTZC_Q/w400-h300/B0788127-D09A-48DD-90F0-5185A05A3339_1_105_c.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Anyway... move on! I started this job exactly on this date a year ago hehe. Still fresh in my mind how nervous I was because I WAS LATE to work lol bad tudung day. Tudung putih pulak tu. That was very odd of me to wear white tudung π I called my manager and told her I has arrived lol and she was confused af because 'who gave you my number, and what am I supposed to do, congratulate you for being late?' hahah no lah she was so nice and told me to join the orientation day upstairs. So when I reached the meeting room, there were few of other looking lost just like me waiting for the next instruction haha!</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">The first day and first week passes by just like that. The second and the rest should be kept as memories only because I'm sooooo lazy to write everything here haha. The memories like keep being blamed for mistakes and getting scolded by the superiors are among those memories that I don't keen to share lmao. But I was no longer a Covid-19 virgin when I got it during the first week I jaga booth drive thru for swab test haha. I think Allah just wanna give me a break, but let's make you suffer a bit something like that haha. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrHSQaHBAfaZO-vyZm38AYA_LTihCclog5OmzUq5S-Mlnk_ynv4zwE-plYp4PaS7QwkG5-nymYhmj2ekGzMV6uOk92Bj_OY5QNj4tIA9CnUaWWefqQ7_nVakNcGSOwGAi_nkNsbzkPPgtlTbIg6KO2tdnMuztwD1E0P950Nsc3lEhGEl-xot7olw/s1024/A747DA01-B76F-4053-9A13-3596FACF6FD7_1_105_c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="769" data-original-width="1024" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrHSQaHBAfaZO-vyZm38AYA_LTihCclog5OmzUq5S-Mlnk_ynv4zwE-plYp4PaS7QwkG5-nymYhmj2ekGzMV6uOk92Bj_OY5QNj4tIA9CnUaWWefqQ7_nVakNcGSOwGAi_nkNsbzkPPgtlTbIg6KO2tdnMuztwD1E0P950Nsc3lEhGEl-xot7olw/w400-h300/A747DA01-B76F-4053-9A13-3596FACF6FD7_1_105_c.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">I vividly remember I'm always on sick leaves because I don't feel like working. I hate being scared seeing people and getting judge by my seniors. Not until I met one of my senior I respect and love to be around with. She made me change my mind of wanting to resign every single time haha. She made me believes that there are still good people here. She taught me lotssss and never look down on me. Thank you Kak Hana ππ</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Many skills I've learnt. I got to learn on how to scan people's bladder, assisting specialists (<span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(60, 64, 67);"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Otorhinolaryngology, Gynaecologist, Urologist, Plastic Surgeon, Orthopaedic, Cardiologist, Neurologist)</span></span>, learnt a lot on people's concerned especially with ear, nose and throat related. Running EEG on patients with different group of ages. I've learned on doing paper work like submission of e-med to embassy of few countries. Communicate with people. Yes this one. The most important one haha. I've learned how to communicate properly especially in English with different breed of people. Rude? Sweet? Gentle? You named it! Haha.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ-02H3QBWUunI98dFLTSEzlnxE7EXKjR2YEH1xWXk8avo_FbySAuDjJf_yCvo2ucsITzuVS0CCnUflpiuK2HqpMeNMKaiaNFj7wP5j_FfpF1H2FG5aMshHDKb5TAGb-guozesHS8ZTNIqvFkdbN15sYO1QKruFYn1vFfCq08bvKv2bARwTZSs5w/s684/CEEF6456-F2FE-4AF5-A7D9-54ECB39AD31A_1_105_c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="684" data-original-width="630" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ-02H3QBWUunI98dFLTSEzlnxE7EXKjR2YEH1xWXk8avo_FbySAuDjJf_yCvo2ucsITzuVS0CCnUflpiuK2HqpMeNMKaiaNFj7wP5j_FfpF1H2FG5aMshHDKb5TAGb-guozesHS8ZTNIqvFkdbN15sYO1QKruFYn1vFfCq08bvKv2bARwTZSs5w/w369-h400/CEEF6456-F2FE-4AF5-A7D9-54ECB39AD31A_1_105_c.jpeg" width="369" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">But somehow one of my doctor said "Saiyidah you need to learn to communicate in English, look at me, I can talk in 3 languages, and that makes me have a great communication skills." and I was like... the heck? Haha I think he wrongly addressing the issue. It's not like I CANNOT communicate in English at all? Him saying 'learn to communicate in English' sounded a bit off to me? I swear to God I was about to burst into tears the moment he said that lol he dare to downgrade me that bad! Okay the problem with me is I'm lack of confidence to talk about EEG because I don't think I know a lot about it. That's why I always stuttered everytime answering his query! </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">So people... the moral of the story is, learn and boost up your confidence so you can flex your communication skills! Kahkah!</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Anyway back to the original post. One of the sweetest moment I had in a year working here is, there is one patient I met, she remembered my name. I don't know if she still remember me now but she is the sweetest. A 67 years old madam. I was surprised when she called my company just to ask about my well-being haha. I was on break when she called so my colleague answered the phone but she said she wanted to talk to me. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrGxQSpLxCGHjLLvk-UevGkbFz2l3ncRmA2yu6JQF4itKD3LeB2LOds1R4VRrAU_ao7mNTGHcNmoeFwUE1HegAq6-wW5ZZMsqdHcGXSJ_NV-3Uk22Qio9kDGGZ9-7Ve32lX39kor2SYNuZ3biEnyFMvSS73EfbiIe4gqrm7N0F_XaWeyIFkuiznw/s1024/FEDF778E-4F04-43CA-AB46-3AAD314D3277_1_105_c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrGxQSpLxCGHjLLvk-UevGkbFz2l3ncRmA2yu6JQF4itKD3LeB2LOds1R4VRrAU_ao7mNTGHcNmoeFwUE1HegAq6-wW5ZZMsqdHcGXSJ_NV-3Uk22Qio9kDGGZ9-7Ve32lX39kor2SYNuZ3biEnyFMvSS73EfbiIe4gqrm7N0F_XaWeyIFkuiznw/w300-h400/FEDF778E-4F04-43CA-AB46-3AAD314D3277_1_105_c.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">As soon as I got back from the break, my colleague was like "Saiyidah, someone is looking for you. She wants to talk to you only so I don't know what it's all about". I was so nervous haha I thought I made mistakes and patient is mad mad mad. I dialed her number and talking as polite as I can haha. I was speechless when she greeted me with "Hi Saiyidah I've been trying to talk you but they said you're on break, poor you girl why you going to break so late?"</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">That. Was. So. Touching.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">To be frank, I got upset stomach on that day. Been shaking and vomitting right before I got back from break. Probably due to gastritis. When I talked to that madam, my body was drenched with cold-sweat. I wasn't feeling well at all. But somehow she made me feel a little bit better based on how concerned she sound during our conversation. She advised me to have a proper meal π’ I cannot avoid it as the schedule is not fix, it's just because of many things to do so I have to take a break a little bit late compared to other colleagues. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Thanks to Madam Kwon, I hope you are always in the pink of health. Doing good at Australia and well-loved by your family members. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">I think that's all the few things I wanted to share with everyone about my job. I don't have many reasons to stay at this company, but so far I love working here. And if I ever get bored and feeling like changing to new environment, I would definitely update on this blog! Haha. Wish everyone can stand firm on your ground when you love something. Do not let others distract you and let you down. Be your own happiness and remember that you don't have to always tell people about your happiness ππ</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAimGliLIqHhy7T4XTw2xmP2hVZQv56NnzA-KTI4I55k3bNfzq-iroGL4x6chIwcjKz9ODIz6TwttPtOtYGTlIXwJmYXNZD52u7Ly_ynJqqnyZhvbuuxolXOJrRqyVg8NGrXSBTute2kcvIyKq3HoMlcgOzT15F3zE8vntrOn5YcuneO3yZ2o0sA/s933/AFA600A6-6665-4181-80EA-C00D06FCA2A8_1_105_c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="423" data-original-width="933" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAimGliLIqHhy7T4XTw2xmP2hVZQv56NnzA-KTI4I55k3bNfzq-iroGL4x6chIwcjKz9ODIz6TwttPtOtYGTlIXwJmYXNZD52u7Ly_ynJqqnyZhvbuuxolXOJrRqyVg8NGrXSBTute2kcvIyKq3HoMlcgOzT15F3zE8vntrOn5YcuneO3yZ2o0sA/w640-h290/AFA600A6-6665-4181-80EA-C00D06FCA2A8_1_105_c.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-70370833481383974922023-04-26T19:37:00.001+08:002023-04-26T19:37:22.742+08:00SELAMAT HARI RAYA!<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Assalamualaikum everyone!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Selamat Hari Raya!! Phew I told ya I'm still here :D</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPKS8G2kekJBynXhaurDuvvLzHIfz2OHXiNNybjnFEYwqAbXswbdl-Yo25dZFqGgtYRGl2rsutRAi22V6KENBiq3qTgv93tdlcuPZFFlrBb-YU4Wh3Gz2jiyo-WbFr74F1qsMq6lbpGiDo6P-6Wbegnvcp34bwvjRtiCow1lT068W4RujZROrAEA/s1024/C2D955DD-7EDD-4CF9-8A4B-54895B015A0D_1_105_c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="769" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPKS8G2kekJBynXhaurDuvvLzHIfz2OHXiNNybjnFEYwqAbXswbdl-Yo25dZFqGgtYRGl2rsutRAi22V6KENBiq3qTgv93tdlcuPZFFlrBb-YU4Wh3Gz2jiyo-WbFr74F1qsMq6lbpGiDo6P-6Wbegnvcp34bwvjRtiCow1lT068W4RujZROrAEA/w300-h400/C2D955DD-7EDD-4CF9-8A4B-54895B015A0D_1_105_c.jpeg" width="300" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">As promised before, I am now writing a post about my hari raya hihi. Alhamdulillah 2023's raya I got to celebrate with the whole family. When I said WHOLE, I mean it. Kaklong abang long, kakngah abang ngah, Wany and Muzaril, Izzati and Firdaus, the babies, all of them were there at rumah Rumbia π</span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">My company allowed us to go back early, no working on Friday and thanks Allah, raya is on Saturday. I got to spend the last Ramadan at home. Zuly picked me up after work and we went home together hehe may Allah bless you Zuly, mak aku pun doa yang baik-baik untuk kau sebab tolong aku balik raya hari tu π</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">I tak sempat beli kasut raya ye guys! I don't understand but Melaka always crowded with people. Every single place you go, mesti got lot lot of people haih. So I ended up decided to not buy new shoes, just pakai apa yang ada je. And with that money I planned to buy shoes tapi tak jadi tu, I got to prepare more sampul raya for the loved ones.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Rasanya the preparation for raya ni, my siblings je yang banyak tolong. Kak long and kak ngah masak-masak, abang long and abang ngah pun banyak tolong masak. Abah like the normal raya routine, anyam ketupat hihi. Mak with kerja-kerja rumah. Me, Wany and Izzati tolong kemas rumah. Tapi saya rasa, saya paling tak function π</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGue-bKsVUp_h07WG5lew4u4bivnWKEmtPs6cUGGUBorHXC2jMHjLVizUTmnyokiv0_LWPqNSg1Qj0WU2EAho0s9Z11GJ2GhWixIJENX474PwFK5W7OViLSzh6qbenPGpMTnhYBP_Sppmtaxy-9--y2n_g96ItUzeLo2AcbWYELCy4ECs20ODU2g/s750/60a7470b-0fea-4610-9adf-d1e1330f0f73.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><img border="0" data-original-height="580" data-original-width="750" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGue-bKsVUp_h07WG5lew4u4bivnWKEmtPs6cUGGUBorHXC2jMHjLVizUTmnyokiv0_LWPqNSg1Qj0WU2EAho0s9Z11GJ2GhWixIJENX474PwFK5W7OViLSzh6qbenPGpMTnhYBP_Sppmtaxy-9--y2n_g96ItUzeLo2AcbWYELCy4ECs20ODU2g/w400-h309/60a7470b-0fea-4610-9adf-d1e1330f0f73.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Pagi raya was all good tapi the babies buat hal ye. Haha letih nyah. Apatah lagi kak long yang melayan diorang haha. Uzair crying because he wanted to keep the duit raya he got all by himself. Kak long nak simpankan, tapi macam biasa kanak-kanak ni nak ikut dia je, dia tak faham π And Irfan pulak tiba-tiba takda mood nak bergambar. Lah pulak. The rest we keep it as memories (me is lazy to update all details).</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">The older I am, I realized that the number of houses we visit for hari raya are getting lesser. Mak and abah are now just following us to wherever we decided to go. They no longer saying stuffs like "jom lepas ni pergi rumah ni" "kita pergi rumah ni ye malam ni" "rumah next ni rumah pakcik sekian sekian, kita gi tengok jap". NO MORE.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIuhqV1_Dwlhgo8ShC47ObrpDTuTRcmF8-SpZHo30HWC6Xnqk-pMMYFX0_XzqObmjGz10PPJ5WCNQxV3qkHIFeBBe1MiAEwrEjRIqAlktdrYh7HSLD5PjUOEDX_6kUh0yMNYNBVdfjLLHd27XULZB9hl0Xe2iKpD4R31g0AZ6FzHGYJL-7-uJoNA/s1024/BBD5A39E-971D-415D-9765-F3F659A56631_1_105_c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="769" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIuhqV1_Dwlhgo8ShC47ObrpDTuTRcmF8-SpZHo30HWC6Xnqk-pMMYFX0_XzqObmjGz10PPJ5WCNQxV3qkHIFeBBe1MiAEwrEjRIqAlktdrYh7HSLD5PjUOEDX_6kUh0yMNYNBVdfjLLHd27XULZB9hl0Xe2iKpD4R31g0AZ6FzHGYJL-7-uJoNA/w300-h400/BBD5A39E-971D-415D-9765-F3F659A56631_1_105_c.jpeg" width="300" /></span></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Sometimes I kinda miss the vibe. Sometimes I felt grateful sebab saya penat jugak nak jalan banyak-banyak rumah ni haha. Tapi tu lah, it makes me thinking was abah and mak okay with that too? Ke sebenarnya they do have places they wanted to go, but not telling us? Hm. Anyways, I'm happy that abah and mak dah puas bawak me and siblings beraya masa kecik-kecik dulu. Eventhough tak ada kereta, sometimes kena pinjam kereta orang and pernah sewa extra kereta for hari raya, we make use of all the chances to the fullest. I want to thank everyone yang banyak tolong my family masa susah dulu sampaikan I tak sedar I susah. You get what I meant? I don't know if it's either I'm being the oblivious one or I yang takda common sense lol but mak abah really did great in raising us up. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Sebelum saya menangis, baik saya stop writing haha. This raya really makes me emotional. I feel like I wanted to do the same, and better for the next raya. I wanted to make my mak abah happy. Wanna appreciate more what my siblings had done. And giving out more to the people I love. May Allah grants my wishes ππ</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Selamat hari raya again, saya seikhlas hati meminta maaf sekiranya ada buat silap dan menyakitkan hati awak semua. Semoga kita semua berpeluang jumpa Ramadan tahun depan, dan sambut next Aidilfitri bersama π</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPr4IjVMcWJbWOYGf-joHEtxRu9ip5LQUGp10xKo97DS4Gm5Hg80hN1WuO6ewhD-mxaFYZLaiXI0Wjs_qJnwEewOHSEYPI5v1hfmJ-CjjV7_z5heA3zV_p1IuxLH8CsLbq5_7ZISuzjtlRK1Zlzl0vuJeV2o22RAByBDdaERxlaf7GX0VpHVKyKw/s2740/54DFB7DA-FBA8-4870-AE98-7DCD80C12C53.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2740" data-original-width="2731" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPr4IjVMcWJbWOYGf-joHEtxRu9ip5LQUGp10xKo97DS4Gm5Hg80hN1WuO6ewhD-mxaFYZLaiXI0Wjs_qJnwEewOHSEYPI5v1hfmJ-CjjV7_z5heA3zV_p1IuxLH8CsLbq5_7ZISuzjtlRK1Zlzl0vuJeV2o22RAByBDdaERxlaf7GX0VpHVKyKw/s320/54DFB7DA-FBA8-4870-AE98-7DCD80C12C53.jpeg" width="319" /></span></a></div><p></p>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-53644637527123154032023-04-15T23:08:00.001+08:002023-04-15T23:08:51.528+08:00A Quick Update: Baju Raya Hunting!<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"> Assalamualaikum hello peeps!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Today is 24th Ramadan already! How fast time flies :(</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Well just want to update that I had broke the curse! LMAO nah it's just this year I finally got menses during Ramadan. It's not like I wished for it but somehow I thought I was abnormal (technically I AM ABNORMAL!) I broke the four years curse which I never get menses during past Ramadans.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">When I was in college I was so jealous with my friends yang period during Ramadan haha because you know they can drink water or eat Maggi after class. Ah so childish lol!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">I was bragging to my colleagues telling them I will get to fast the whole month without leaving any crumbs. And the way karma hits me real hard, the end of second week of Ramadan I was BOOMED! Ah so I can bleed too...</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Anyways... Today right after went home from work, me rushing to Kenanga Mall with Ana to buy baju raya. To be brutally honest, I wasn't planning to buy one... today. I just wanted to cuci mata. And since it's unplanned to buy anything, I didn't have cash with me and expecting the shops there accept pay wave or QR code transfer.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">And when a Baju Kurung caught my attention, I don't have any cash to pay for it and all shops accept only cash!! LOL this is embarrassing D:</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">So I used Ana's cash first lol now when it's time to pay back her I feel like why the heck I bought Baju Kurung with such a price!! Ye lah masa bayar tu tak terasa sebab pakai duit ana kan haha :')</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">I don't know but I feel like this year's trend is a simple and elegant kinda style? Aight? So the one I bought can be considered as cheap? Compared to others but hello RM169 for a piece of Baju Kurung hmmmm I feel like I spent the entire month's expenses already haha nah joking only.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Oh and guess what? Ana didn't bought any.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Lagi lahhh saya geram haha! Supposedly ada je yang dia minat, tapi takda size dia dah. Ada faedah juga berbadan besar macam saya ni ye?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">By the way the distance from our place to Kenanga Mall is not that far, around 15 minutes with car. Tapi engko tahu the journey took around one and half hour to that mall! The traffic was so crazy! I feel like crying and angry because my ass already sore sitting in the grab car and it's barely moving :(</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">But okaylah we shopped from 4.30pm till 6.30pm. Banyak je kedai jual baju murah-murah and cantik-cantik tapi kaki ni ha yang dah penat. Penat balik kerja lagi ugh. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">So let's see if I can or will update about the Baju Kurung here after raya! Haha usually when I plan to write a post, it will end up stay in the draft for forever? Haha anyway Selamat Hari Raya everyone! Wishing a great end for your Ramadan this year. May our prayers are all accepted and we get to celebrate Aidilfitri with His blessing!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">That's it tonight. Later!</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjN-TF8XZ4vNj1UdYTBYo62PNC154zfFkv4GVAB1pCA4HekYAdocoXB3HXT4nrMYqKEcWrFndAiXhuwgcnrcII8PM22dnDKmsKMaxvpKpTeq_4nHH1N8ik26nnOJdsHmQC8hu_n4Tvc2U4WlFXMc7SU0WQMMMOZEMtxJGqkcZrKXu22mT8XyG-1Q/s1024/27148238-924A-43F9-BE89-14512BB53CA7_1_105_c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="769" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjN-TF8XZ4vNj1UdYTBYo62PNC154zfFkv4GVAB1pCA4HekYAdocoXB3HXT4nrMYqKEcWrFndAiXhuwgcnrcII8PM22dnDKmsKMaxvpKpTeq_4nHH1N8ik26nnOJdsHmQC8hu_n4Tvc2U4WlFXMc7SU0WQMMMOZEMtxJGqkcZrKXu22mT8XyG-1Q/w480-h640/27148238-924A-43F9-BE89-14512BB53CA7_1_105_c.jpeg" width="480" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><p><br /></p>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-27578293614355142322023-04-01T23:58:00.000+08:002023-04-01T23:58:06.485+08:00Too Close<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"> Hello Assalamualaikum everyone!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">I'm 26 this year and still missing blogging haha I used to update almost everyday when I was 14 but I guess doing it once a year isn't that bad, right?</span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUn5q6mHvkkAF0M_QZHjcgWCTY6uZ8LW5bBXKue84ycrV1gYzlA8CdoBFdc1D0OXZvMlpY6fuUSvweh2B-kO2rQs2ztot4rjg5b7BWzgbjTpsVJthfcEyCHcYond_A9OszdKAW3H5OIlIgyQ-VE74sk5GppgXAmT5y9rdV-7dDJSSSdDF5lftiuQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUn5q6mHvkkAF0M_QZHjcgWCTY6uZ8LW5bBXKue84ycrV1gYzlA8CdoBFdc1D0OXZvMlpY6fuUSvweh2B-kO2rQs2ztot4rjg5b7BWzgbjTpsVJthfcEyCHcYond_A9OszdKAW3H5OIlIgyQ-VE74sk5GppgXAmT5y9rdV-7dDJSSSdDF5lftiuQ=w225-h400" width="225" /></span></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Today is Ramadan day 10 and just finished editing my Sabah trip 20 seconds video and uploaded on both my TikTok account and Instagram hehe. Not really editing, I just compiled all photos using the ready made template on CapCut eheh. Simple lifeeee.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">So far my Ramadan is great! *thumbs up* I woke up everyday and never missed sahur. I ate koko crunch almost everyday haha and dates! Going to work, having fun at work because my colleagues are the best. Walking back sambil tu menyinggah all the kedai-kedai jual juadah berbuka all the way home haha. Pastu berbuka time with housemates!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">And later after berbuka solat and mengaji, I play Sims 4 haha what a boring routine. Sometimes Netflix sometimes layan Cupcake Aisyah's Ramadan vlog pastu tertidur haha. I tak pergi terawih cuz don't ask me hm I got no one to teman :(</span></p><p><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgQxGr4voqkBBNyuAXze57T-ZAKFuIHw5BcR-Jl9q02BA7aXI9AA8Ds2LdVFtL4aM3AX47BJbefmgsdb9WV5J098yPyO0EGLM82_9V_lpEnm96gMda-lB4WIqnr0bRXZGRPkVAY-YMf1HSGTAaY2mpAO1yqOA2VlA0x8EHGFtZTeSC-W-Wq9tJ_tA" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgQxGr4voqkBBNyuAXze57T-ZAKFuIHw5BcR-Jl9q02BA7aXI9AA8Ds2LdVFtL4aM3AX47BJbefmgsdb9WV5J098yPyO0EGLM82_9V_lpEnm96gMda-lB4WIqnr0bRXZGRPkVAY-YMf1HSGTAaY2mpAO1yqOA2VlA0x8EHGFtZTeSC-W-Wq9tJ_tA=w300-h400" width="300" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><div style="text-align: justify;">If you're wondering how's my life these days, I gotta say I changed a lot. Not sure if everything turned out better or worser but I'm still the same Ida. Still a sinner.</div></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Something happened last February and I'm not keen to share but I wish I have the strength to finish my post on that particular incident because I started and left it hanging half-way. Was too painful to swallow.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Family is getting bigger in number hehe I'm acu to 4 kids now! The eldest one, Aariz Uzair is 7 years old already! Big boy and comot. The second one is his brother, Aariz Irfan. Little munchkin is 5 years old. Third is the pretty girl, Nur Ammara Syafia, she's going to be 1 in few months! And last but not least, Aisy Aira our new baby girl in the fam!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Gotta prepare lots of sampul raya for these babies hahaha!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Mak abah both sihat, Alhamdulillah thanks to Allah! Tapi abah just recovered from demam manja. Hopefully will maintain sihat the whole Ramadan. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">By the way!! I went to Guardian today and you know the deals right? It's 40% off sales!! Haha and oh let me show you the hauls hihi</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiGscVOnLFKonPYHJyYmt-I9cFzh6pCRobR9E8ebz4i7qNiGf6EMf0D0_0xJHGH-S6u_5JTNNtzsxVQl1ljxnVTTYmo9rjYoLva-um7CgLrfzqtnGwJpPTXE7qtYD16_IVbiNDzTxEHWgTkb7RCoweeAEUHExxd6DGvB3R0G-69-_ZKNVdYP2v_Rg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="769" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiGscVOnLFKonPYHJyYmt-I9cFzh6pCRobR9E8ebz4i7qNiGf6EMf0D0_0xJHGH-S6u_5JTNNtzsxVQl1ljxnVTTYmo9rjYoLva-um7CgLrfzqtnGwJpPTXE7qtYD16_IVbiNDzTxEHWgTkb7RCoweeAEUHExxd6DGvB3R0G-69-_ZKNVdYP2v_Rg=w300-h400" width="300" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Oh I love my day today! Haha the new lip matte and what was that? Ah was it lip balm? But I love those two!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Hm what else to update... Life partner? Nah, still not finding one. Haha am too lazy to get to know people. Can I say I'm too close to give up and reda je dengan sesiapa haha tapi tu lah when someone's trying to approach me, I give thousand excuses like I know I'm getting older but I'm not ready!!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Good night people I guess that's all with my boring life and wish no one read this!! Haha</span></div><div style="font-family: trebuchet; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-23500578380560571802020-11-09T17:35:00.001+08:002020-11-09T17:35:29.425+08:00Rebound<p style="text-align: justify;"> 9th of November 2020, Monday.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Assalamualaikum, hello everyone :)</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Ah it has been a while since I posted something here. Nothing worth to be read, today I just feel like writing. To recap on what actually happened before, yes, I made it. I finished last semester very well. Thank you to all who have been supporting me all this while.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">It took me months to actually recover from all the bad things and thoughts that passed by through my mind. And realized, after all, 2020 wasn't bad at all. Despite all the hardships that I've been through, I finally found the broken pieces and the peace it brought to me.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">2020 isn't over yet, but I believe I can meet 2021 in one piece. InshaAllah.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">So many things happened in 2020, I don't think I will be able to make it short here. But, okay let me try.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">January 2020 - I was so short of money. I actually working part time few months before, but wasn't able to receive the pay before starting the new semester. And I don't really know how to describe this memory. But all I remember was, it sucks.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">February 2020 - I'm struggling with my final year project. It was freaking hard though. I spent the whole days and nights in the laboratory. Working with my partner. Contaminated samples. Discard the samples. Repeat. All over again. And again.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">March 2020 - Suddenly the pandemic season coming thru pfft I have to left all my projects in the laboratory and back to hometown. Almost gave up at that moment, because who knows if I have to redo everything again? Or maybe change the methodology parts? Ah I literally gave up, I remember I did.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">April to June 2020 - I was doing just fine. Chilling with my family members all the time. Cooking and watching movies.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">July to August 2020 - I finally resume my final year project. Working out with the spss thingy. I almost paid a professional and let she doing my work. But no, I'm not doing that. And so many things happened on July. I don't really like remember them.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">September 2020 - I'm done with my final year project and also the super-long and hectic semester. I'm honestly very happy with my results. I got all As for all subjects! Including my final year project! I swear to god, I'm crying. Alhamdulillah Allah helps me a lot.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">October 2020 - My tiny tiny heart can't help but keeps falling in love with a new formed kpop group, ENHYPEN. I know this is like obviously out of my normal life. I never stanned any kpop group before? Haha heLp they're so adorable how can I ignore them all. And to be honest, this small group and fandom makes me safe. I managed to escape from my bad behaviours due to them. Thank you. And shout out to all my filo moots, you guys are the best :(</p><p style="text-align: justify;">November 2020 - New semester begin, I'm on my final year already. I need to work hard I really need to work hard this semester! I want to prove to everyone, I can do something for myself!</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;">That's it. Can't wait for what December will bring to me! </p>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-52269388266450029432020-07-27T00:06:00.001+08:002020-07-27T00:07:36.873+08:00How Are You?<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Just a quick visit to my baby here hehe okay I was actually quite busy these past few weeks ha macam biasalah, a student life, what do you expect Ida? And gonna be moreee busy after this. Hence, I decided to just wrote few things that I really wanted to share with the people here. Just few. Heh.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">How to start eh? Haha. Em you know this pandemic season really got my life a bit.. no, not my life. My emotion. Yah this pandemic season really got my emotion on a roller coaster mode. Kadang-kadang I happy not because people are dying and struggling, absolutely not for that reasons. I was happy because I got plenty of time to spend with my family. I think this is like the longest time I ever had - to be at home and actually doing nothing. I'm not even doing the part time job like I usually did on every semester breaks. I don't know why... okay lah I knew the reason is I was taking precaution from the virus and yadah yadah, and when the surrounding is getting better, I got classes and assignments to do pulak. Kan? So yah I got no time for doing that. I ended up here, on my desk doing things. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And I somehow feeling a bit K.O for not doing the usual things I would probably do at mahallah now. Things like - going to class, making jokes with friends, going out and buy unnecessary stuffs, evening walk and talk around the campus with my girlfriends, meeting and discussion after Isyak. AND MANY MORE. I kinda miss them all! Aren't you feeling the same? Or is it just me? Is this how it feels after graduated?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was quite stressful to be at home..... I'm sorry I have to say this. It's not that I hated home. I love every inch every corner of my house hahaha. What I'm trying to say is.. entahlah I don't know how to say what I really felt now. Oh I'm sorry I cannot express my feeling in words :(</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Alhamdulillah I am stronger than I think :') Maybe because I have no other choice but to be strong. And Alhamdulillah I have so many nice people around me hihi... And with the title of this post, I'm actually asking myself. Am I really okay? Haha, of course! I'm very fine :)</span></div>
Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-12862632185768997222020-06-29T17:38:00.001+08:002020-06-29T17:39:35.607+08:00Cleaning Fairy, Where Are You?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Assalamualaikum hello earthlings!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Aha it's me again. Hahaha. I'm not gonna use bahasa baku or bahasa sopan in today's post. Sebab rasa macam nak rempit je, malas. Hahaha.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sumpah hari ni extra rajin, I pun taktahu lah kenapa. Last night I slept at 2 or 3ish o'clock, I can't remember the exact time, sebab memang TERtidur. I do some writing on my thesis and YAYY I already submitted my Chapter Four to my SV hehe! A bit late, but better late than never kan? Ceh, sedapkan hati sendiri.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Oh ya okay I was being extra today sebab okay lemme tell you, I woke up at 10 am! And nobody's home. Hahah my parents going to Hospital Melaka, my sister of course lah pergi kerja. It's Monday people! Then I bukak tudung saji ada bihun okay noted! Then straight to turn on the television. Nothing... </span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And I tinjau tingkap, <i>'oh baju tak sidai lagi'</i>. Terus pergi dapur and take out all baju-baju yang mak dah basuh before keluar pagi tadi dari mesin basuh. Pastu macam <i>'em nak makan dulu or terus buat kerja?'</i>. So I decided to do the house chores first π (and being extra again, I turned the radio on!)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I started with sidai baju dulu:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On my way nak sidai baju tu, I nampak banyak ilerrr taik ayam atas lantai luar rumah ni ugh geram taw sebab bukan ayam kita, kalau ayam kita sendiri dah lama sembelih buat kari hahaha. So before sidai baju, I bersihkan ruang depan rumah. Sental lantai bagai. And siap sapu longkang sikit. Tengah sapu longkang tetiba abang pos laju sampai hantar parcel Zametot uhuk, hadap je lah muka aku yang belum mandi and busuk tu π then dah siap semua, I sambung sidai baju. Okay done. Masuk rumah semula.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Then I proceed with kemas ruang tamu:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Vacuum carpet > Lap kabinet TV > Arranged all cushions on the sofa > Sapu the wholeeee area.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Next, I go to dining area:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bersihkan meja makan > Campak all unnecessary clothes on the table to the washing machine > Lap meja makan > Sapu that area bersih-bersih.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Next, I kemas meja abah:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Buang kertas tah apa-apa atas meja > Lap meja abah > Arranged things on that table > Sapu that area fuhh.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Masa ni dah berpeluh gila-gila dah sebab weh walaupun rumah kecil je, tapi masih penat ye!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Next, I sambung kemas bilik tidur:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bilik tak berapa nak sepah sebab hari-hari I kemas π So tinggal nak sapu sikit je rambut-rambut yang gugur tu hahaha!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Rasa macam okay doneeeeee! Tapi rasa bersalah pulak kalau tak kemas bilik belakang yang biasanya abah buat tempat solat tu. Bilik tu dah penuh gila sebab baru je angkut bawa pulang my stuffs from IIUM. Heh tahu je lah barang asrama budak perempuan. Tah apa-apa benda tah yang ada hehe.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So I decided to kemas sikit lah bilik tu. Hehe tapi ko rasa aku ni boleh ke kemas sikit-sikit? Once I started, I cannot stop sampai rasa puas hati. Okay senang cerita memang penat sangat kemas bilik belakang tu. Tapi sekarang bilik tu dah rupa bilik lah jugak instead of tongkang pecah. I buang segala benda yang I rasa nak buang sebab I tak rasa my sisters pun nak lagi barang-barang yang I buang tu. Please lah jangan cakap nak! π Kalau I tak kemas bilik tu, sampai ke hari ini pun barang-barang tu tak akan dicari hahaha so I harap korang tak cari dah barang yang dibuang tu. Jangan tanya apa, sebab RAHSIA! π</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I puas hati gila tengok bilik tu dah bersih and tak bau hapak dah. Ugh. And sempat kemas sikit dapur, then mak abah dah pulang dari Hospital Melaka. Pukul 1.30 tengah hari baru I mandi and terus solat. I basuh lagi sekali baju-baju, kain-kain, pillow cases dari bilik belakang tu. Lepas solat, I sidai baju-baju tu semua. And baru makan!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7b1fa2; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sambil makan sambil tengok Running Man Eps 509. Letih sangat, I can't do anything else. Rasa nak bersandar je and doing nothing. Hahaha I tried to sleep, tapi tak boleh. Hence, here I am! Alangkah indahnya kalau ada Ibu Peri boleh dia sprinkle sprinkle her magic wand, and TADAA all cleaned!! π§β</span></div>
Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-77524940036836378372020-06-19T14:20:00.001+08:002020-06-19T14:22:26.420+08:00Talking about books..<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hai assalamualaikum semua! How are you guys today? Hopefully semua sihat belaka deh :)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Semalam saya kemas buku-buku yang ada dalam our old luggage dekat bilik belakang. To be honest, bilik belakang tu sangatlah kecil and dah terlalu semak dengan barang-barang yang terasa sayang nak buang. Heh waktu mengemas ni memang selalu rasa <i>'eh ni nak guna lagi</i>' <i>'eh yang ni sayang lah nak buang'</i> <i>'eh yang ni banyak sentimental value taw!'</i> dan pelbagai lagi jenis <i>'eh'</i> yang timbul.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Makan masa seminggu juga sebelum tidur terfikirkan nasib buku-buku dan barang-barang yang bakal dibuang/dipindah hak milik nanti. Even last night lepas dah sorted out buku-buku yang masih nak simpan dan jual pun masih terasa sedih. Hahaha punyalah sayang.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bercakap tentang buku..</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I started to have my own books since I was 9 years old. Buku cerita lah. I still remember the story line of that book. Pasal ibu ayam dan musang. But that was an English book. When I said <i>'to have my own book'</i>, what I'm trying to say is buku tu adalah buku pertama yang saya nak dan saya mintak mak saya belikan. Buku tu nipis je, dalam 10-15 helai muka surat je kut? Buku berilustrasi dan berwarna. Saya pun dah lupa kenapa saya mintak mak saya belikan buku cerita macam tu. Hehe mungkin sebab my English teacher pesan kut, kalau nak pandai dalam Bahasa Inggeris, kena rajin membaca buku berbahasa Inggeris.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Saya minat juga membaca novel kanak-kanak, contohnya novel Aku Mahu Popular karya Ain Maisarah. Rasanya tu buku pertama daripada penulisan Ain Maisarah yang saya baca. Buku tu kakak saya pinjam dari kawan dia, and kitorang baca sama-sama dekat rumah. Then saya berjinak-jinak minat membaca novel kanak-kanak macam tu juga. Kalau singgah tesco dan lalu dekat Popular Bookstore, mesti saya ajak abah, mak & kakak-kakak singgah. Sebab saya nak cari buku saya! </span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Novel dewasa pun saya minat juga baca. Antara novel yang saya ingat saya baca masa sekolah rendah ialah novel penulisan Ramlee Awang Murshid bertajuk Ungu Karmila. Novel ni baca meremang-remang bulu roma haha. Dia ala-ala misteri dan of course, Ramlee Awang Murshid punya novel yang mana je tak misteri? Haha! Novel cinta pun ada baca, tapi tak ingat dah tajuk-tajuk. Masa mengemas malam tadi, dah tak jumpa dah novel-novel tu semua. Mungkin dah dibuang/diberi orang lain kut.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Pagi tadi dah start blasting around the price and name of books yang saya nak jual. Boleh kata saya nak jual secondhand books lah. Tapi tak rupa secondhand pun. Masih cantik. Tapi setakat ni belum ada orang yang berkenan nak beli. Hehe tak rasa apa pun, cuma terkesan sedikit. Saya rasa mungkin ramai orang dah tak minat membaca buku-buku/novel kanak-kanak macam 10-15 tahun yang lalu sebab peredaran zaman membuatkan citarasa masing-masing berubah.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Zaman sekarang ni, sumber bacaan ada banyak! Boleh cari dari Google, boleh tonton di Youtube, boleh jumpa fakta-fakta menarik dari Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. Semuanya jadi senang sekarang. Betullah kelebihan Internet itu adalah untuk memudahkan kerja manusia! Kalau dulu masa sekolah, penggunaan kamus tu sangatlah penting. Wajib beli kalau kamus yang dulu dah rosak/koyak. Boleh dikatakan saya lima beradik masing-masing ada kamus sendiri hehe. Bukan sebab abah nak beli seorang satu. Tapi sekolah selalu hadiahkan kamus masa Hari Kualiti/Anugerah kepada students. Haih indahnya zaman sekolah. Tapi sekarang kamus pun orang dah kurang gunakan. Sebab kita ada Google untuk bantu kita cari macam-macam perkara.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Personally, saya rasa macam taknak jual/buang pun buku-buku yang ada dekat rumah ni. Kalaulah saya ada bilik yang besar, almari buku yang luas and the most important thing is, kalaulah saya tak perlu fikir nasib buku-buku ni macam sekarang, saya takkan terfikir pun nak menulis macam apa yang saya tengah buat sekarang ni haha. Sesungguhnya buku-buku tu semua bernilai sangat. Dari buku-buku tu saya jadi rajin membaca, saya bersemangat nak berjaya dan sambung belajar di sekolah berasrama, saya pasang cita-cita tinggi nak ke luar negara, belajar erti persahabatan dan macam-macamlah lagi nilai murni yang boleh dapat dengan membaca! Yang paling penting, pemilihan genre buku mestilah sesuai dengan peringkat umur.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bercakap soal nilai buku..</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Dulu masa kecil, atau tak lah berapa kecil pun haha, saya selalu mintak abah belikan buku untuk saya. Kalau tak dapat buku, mesti saya merajuk. <i>(Heh dasar luu ida zaman kecil!)</i> Sampaikan kakak saya selalu marah & paksa saya berjanji untuk habiskan bacaan. Kalau tak, saya takkan dapat buku lagi. Sebab masa tu saya taktahu pun abah saya bukannya ada duit sangat. Bila sekarang ni kakak saya cerita susahnya hidup masa kami semua kecil dulu, saya terkejut saya ada banyak buku-buku yang sebuah pun dah berharga hampir RM20. Sanggup abah belanja buku cerita macam tu untuk saya, mahal pulak tu! <i>(Aduh pengorbanan mak abah kakak-kakak ni buat mata gue berair sekarang ni!)</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sebab tu bila nak buang/jual/beri pada orang lain, terasa sedih sangat. Sebab setiap buku tu ada sentimental valuenya yang tak dapat dibeli kat mana-mana. Terma kenangan tu untuk masa lalu. Masa lalu mana mungkin boleh dikembalikan. Kan? <i>(Nangis lagi)</i> Rasa nak simpan bagi anak cucu cicit. Tapi percayalah, buku-buku macam ni bukan lagi pilihan kanak-kanak zaman akan datang. Mungkin ada ciptaan baru yang lagi hebat dari Internet haha!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So the main thing here is, kalau sampai hujung minggu depan buku-buku yang ada dekat rumah ni takda siapa yang nak, I want to let them go to any places for good. If any of you guys yang tahu mana-mana place/library yang menerima buku lama, do tell me ya! Thank you for spending your precious time here! I never wrote this much on my thesis tapi di sini, hmm!</span></div>
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-70835684857686305272018-11-18T02:22:00.003+08:002018-11-18T02:22:30.454+08:00You, who need to inspire yourself.<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Assalamualaikum hello beautiful people :)</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Wow so this year I already posted three entries (including this one). Applause! So what's with the title? 'You, who need to inspire yourself'? Hm believe me or not, I have to present any of my favourite quotes in my class tomorrow! And just one quote! So out of many quotes that I loved, I choose <i><b><u>"Letting Go Isn't A Weakness, but.."</u></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">First and foremost, I believe that most of you here must have gone through a condition where you're hardly to make a move from. Just once is more than enough. Nobody should proudly said that, </span><i><span style="color: #e06666;">"I never felt that way before?"</span></i><span style="color: #4c1130;">. At least if you're not realised or maybe you do not know whether you've been through this kind of situation before, please do not overconfident. I remember what my sister said to me, </span><i><span style="color: #e06666;">"Allah menguji kita dengan kata-kata kita"</span></i><span style="color: #4c1130;">. Indeed, she is right. You'll never know what tomorrow holds.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">No matter how we want things to be, life is all about the changed. Sometimes it is changed for good, sometimes it isn't. These days I wasn't feeling so good, so I tried to find some motivation through the Youtube lol and came across a video by Jay Shetty, he is a youtuber and very popular with his motivational videos. The title of the video is <b>'Letting Go Is Not A Weakness".</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In that video he told the viewers about a story of a professor that trying to let his students imagined a bottle of water as the problems that a person might hold. The story is just like this,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">One day, a professor is holding a bottle of water in his class and asked the students </span><i><span style="color: #e06666;">"how much do you think the weigh of this bottle?"</span></i><span style="color: #4c1130;">. A student shouted, </span><i><span style="color: #e06666;">"500 g!"</span></i><span style="color: #4c1130;">. Another student shouted, </span><i><span style="color: #e06666;">"600 g!"</span></i><span style="color: #4c1130;">. The professor said, </span><i><span style="color: #e06666;">"actually we need to weigh this bottle first in order to know the exact answer".</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And he asked them another question,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"what happen if I hold this bottle for a few minutes?"</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>A student answered, "nothing, professor."</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"what happen if I hold it for an hour?"</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"your arm will get hurt"</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"what about for 24 hours?"</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"you'll be extremely hurt or even more worst, your arm might be paralysed."</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The professor said,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"did you notice that the weigh does not changed at all throughout the time?"</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>"the only thing that changed is the time I holding this bottle."</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He then explained that the water inside the bottle are the challenges, problems, anxiety, worries, uncertainty and everything that is minding you. The bottle itself is you. The longer you hold the pain, the more damages it can bring to you. In order for us to not keep on damaging ourselves, we need to let it go and move on to the better you. One of the powerful quotes taken from Nelson Mandela is, <i><b>"when I was walking out towards the gate that will lead to my freedom, I knew that if I didn't leave the bitterness and hatred behind, I would still be in the prison".</b></i> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Believe me, letting go is not an easy thing to do. But letting those things clinging and dragging you around honestly will make the situation worse. We need to learn to accept the apologies that we never received. We can't break anyone's heart in order to fix ours. As a saying goes, <b><i>resentment is like drinking the poison and hoping the other person to die</i></b>. Holding the grudges will bring no benefit at all and simply caused more harm to the way of our thinking as we're letting the negative thoughts stay in our mind.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Our heart might have been broken for a couple of times, our trust have been misused, our loyalty have been tested, and sometimes these things doesn't deserve the forgiveness at all. But forgiveness can prevent us from being negatively affected. Lowered down your ego, there must be a reason for all of these things to happen. Let them go, and make a move. <b><i><u>"Letting go is not a weakness, but it's the strength to know that you've been strong for far too long."</u></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Fuh sorry for the super-long-text. Pray for me so that I can talk confidently in front of my classmates! And do pray for me so that I can move on from the past memories :') I'm still working on it. And one more thing, do pray for me for the upcoming hectic weeksssss oh my I have so many events this month :(</span></div>
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-28648402263483202582018-10-03T23:00:00.001+08:002018-10-03T23:00:36.647+08:00War inside of me.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: red;">Assalamualaikum & hello people :)</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Secara jujurnya, saya taktahu kenapa tergerak hati nak tulis post malam ni. Maybe sebab rasa macam sedih, for no reason? Why can't I be happy for others' happiness? Or maybe like others?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tiba-tiba rasa sedih sebab someone who I knew just found his happiness. Haha, jahat! Yup, tak sepatutnya saya rasa macam tu, sebab kebahagiaanlah yang saya doakan hari-hari untuk dia. Mungkin ni bukti Allah tu Maha Adil, Maha Mendengar & Maha Berkuasa atas semua kehendakNya. Dan saya terfikir, kenapa nak sedih, at least Allah dengar apa yang saya mintak. Hehe.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Kadang-kadang bila dah sampai limit, saya suka persoalkan benda yang tak sepatutnya.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Why can't I be pretty and confident like other girls?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Why my skin can't get clear as I tried everything recommended by people?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Why my result didn't get better every semesters though I study harder?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Why am I always have problem with managing my expenses?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Why can't I understand what Drs have taught in class?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Why people leave me?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">and many more...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Am I not good enough?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Thanks Allah I'm still here living but sadly keep sinning and repenting. Shame on me. Hati dan minda seolah-olah tengah berperang. Kadang-kadang marah dengan apa yang tertulis olehNya tentang nasib-nasib diri ni. Kadang-kadang bersyukur Allah masih gerakkan hati untuk sentiasa mencari Dia bila tiada siapa yang faham apa yang dilalui.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bukan nak kata saya tak ada orang yang sayangkan diri saya. I have a lovely family and good friends around me, tapi bukan semua benda boleh kongsi sama-sama. Complicated. Something somewhere in my heart, that cannot be expressed by words, only Allah knows what's happening there. Yes, still it cannot be expressed here. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tak apaaaaaaaaa, I'm quite okay. Haha. Mungkin impak tak boleh jawab quiz pharmacology kut tadi? Haha. I love you all, so much. I'm sorry if I ever hurt anybody here, whoever you are, the one who read this post, again I'm sorry.</span></div>
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-76992199296064566622018-08-05T19:27:00.001+08:002018-08-05T20:09:59.065+08:00Nothing, just a random post.<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://data.whicdn.com/images/317219644/large.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://data.whicdn.com/images/317219644/large.jpg" /></a></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: red;">Assalamualaikum.</span></b><span style="color: #4c1130;"> This might be a very random post after a very long break. Was I too busy? Hm. I guess not. But let's just proceed with whatever reason I suddenly posting something on my long-lost-friend, my blog.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The last two months were too hard for me. I couldn't handle my own feelings very well. There were a lot of ups and downs, the pain is quite unbearable, but all praises to Allah I can finally make it. Initially, the things that you're going to read after this (the main point I write all of these things), I kept it all by me. I wrote every each of them in my diary every time I miss that particular person, but I guess, I need to stop doing that thing as I have no more rights or to be exact, I have no more chances to write about them anymore. Hence, that's why I brought it here so ha feel free to read it.</span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://data.whicdn.com/images/317190044/large.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://data.whicdn.com/images/317190044/large.jpg" /></a> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But first of all, this post might have nothing to do with anyone, except to that particular person & his future partner. And also, this entry is absolutely nothing. I know nothing but just being happy knowing someone & loving someone :)<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: red; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><u>To his future partner:</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #e06666;">I start with foods.</span></i></b> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">1. He loves chicken a lot. He can eat the same menu with chicken every day. I don't know which part that he loves the most, maybe you can ask him later?<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2. He don't prefer to eat spicy food but still, he can eat them well.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">3. He doesn't eat vegetables a lot.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">4. He hates sushi. Haha but if you love it, he can sit there in front of you & watch you eat.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">5. He hates all types of pasta. But still he can eat them.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">6. Cheese? He might or might not like it. Idk.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">7. He loves lamb chop, chicken chop, & i think he loves western food.</span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">8. He loves mango.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">9. Satay? Yup!<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">10. Basically, he loves to eat.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #e06666;">His specialities:</span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">1. He can talk a lotttt he always have a lot of things to tell you.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2. He loves to play games.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">3. He is a good driver.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">4. He is a nice guy, he helps people a lot.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">5. He loves his parents and family so much.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">6. He cares for his friends a lot.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">7. He knows many things about current technologies & to be specific, smartphones. You can ask him to explain the things you always wanted to know :)<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">8. He loves to explain about his project/assignment. Listen to him, eventhough you might not know nothing hehe.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">9. He loves to review the movies/animes/cartoons that he already watched. It will be so interesting, just listen to him.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">10. He loves to sing many types of song. It can be kpop, english, anime's songs, malay & etc.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">11. He can be so cute at certain times, also can be so serious, also can be a gentleman. He's a human.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">12. Do not worry, he is a very patience man.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">13. He glows differently when he is happy. Make him happy, you're going to see a beautiful star :)<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">14. He's very good at taking pictures.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">15. He can cook you satay!<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">16. He loves to be pampered with a lot of compliments. Tell him he's cute, tell him he's handsome, tell him he is looking good right now, tell him he's the best for you. He loves that.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://data.whicdn.com/images/317219777/large.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://data.whicdn.com/images/317219777/large.jpg" /></a> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #e06666;">What to be careful with:</span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">1. He easily get distracted. Do not make him stressed out over the little things.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2. He doesn't like the super-long-kind of text. Make it simple. InsyaAllah he can understand you.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">3. He doesn't like to take the medicines. You can asked him to have a rest to make him relax.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">4. He loves beautiful things. Be beautiful for him.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">5. He can be extra moody but it only takes a few hours.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">6. He doesn't know how to express his feelings, pay attention to his talk & move, that's the only way he expressed them.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">7. Do not make him angry. He is quite scary.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">8. He is a very straightforward, be bold.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">9. The way he plays with his jokes is quite different, do not be afraid, he loves you.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">10. He's a funny guy.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">11. He laugh a lot.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Please support him no matter what he wishes to do. Be it good or bad, support him with the right ways. Because that is all he wanted. He might be not spending so much time with you, but deep down inside he really cares about you. He might not showing how much he loves you, but do remember you are all he had. He might be looked like a man with so many girl friends, but he only wants you. He might be a poor listener, but do not worry, you can make him a good one, insyaAllah. He might be talking harshly to you, please know that is the best of him. He might seem like he doesn't care about you, but trust me, all he wants is to be with you. He might be a little bit busy, but please remember it is all for your own good. He might not be a typical boyfriend you saw on social media, but trust me, he is working hard on it. It might be hard for you to hear the words "sorry/thanks" from him, he has such an ego, but you have to put your trust in him. He might look like a small guy, but he has a very big dream, please listen to whatever he wishes to have. To this point, you might be a little bit frustrated soon, but do not give up! Please understand his situations first. Please do not let him down.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I swear you will be happy with him. Learn something from each other. Learn something every day. Take a chance & always support each other. I pray for both of you the eternal love and happiness. Do not hurt him. Take care of him. Like very well.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><u><span style="color: red;">To that particular person:</span></u></b><br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I would like to say thank you for all the efforts and cares that you already had gave to me before. I was happy. I appreciate every single things that you had done. Do take care of yourself.<br /> </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://data.whicdn.com/images/317144205/large.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://data.whicdn.com/images/317144205/large.jpg" /></a></span><br />
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-18671807912928870912015-12-14T12:42:00.000+08:002015-12-14T12:42:55.744+08:00How To Handle Your 'Homesick'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Assalamualaikum. Hello peeps :)</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><u>You'll never know unless you try. Let's make it work!</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Because I knew that me, my friends and some sisters out there still need the help. Makanya, saya ambil keputusan untuk update sesuatu yang bermanfaat kepada yang memerlukan.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Sebelum apa-apa, marilah saya mengimbas semula detik-detik pertama kali duduk 'berdikari' di asrama. (tak tahulah kenapa tapi rasa macam skema sikit malam ni) Masa mula-mula dapat tawaran masuk asrama dulu, memang tak nafikan ada perasaan bercampur baur. Lagi-lagi dapat tawaran dekat Kulim. (Saya stay dekat Melaka) Mak dengan kak long pun ada bagi pilihan dekat saya, nak pergi ke tak Kulim. Tapi saya yang buat keputusan, sebab saya fikir saya nak 'hijrah', nak jumpa kawan baru, nak ada pengalaman baru, makanya keputusan saya PERGI.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Dipendekkan cerita, saya homesick jugak. Homesick tu apa? Homesick tu bukan setakat rindukan emak abah kakak-kakak, malah saya rindu rumah, kucing, toilet, makanan, katil, kipas, peti ais dan seisi rumah. Dan termasuklah rakan-rakan saya dekat Melaka. Boleh dikatakan setiap pagi kalau terbangun, mesti saya terbayang ada dekat rumah. Saya terbayang dengar bunyi suara mak kejut saya, saya terbayang dengar bunyi kuali dan sudip mak berlaga-laga dekat dapur, dak akhirnya saya menangis dalam bilik air. Haha. Seminggu lebih jugak saya jadi macam ni. Setiap malam saya call rumah, kadang-kadang kakak saya call saya. (Untung ada 4 orang kakak, semua rindu saya)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Benda pertama yang saya buat bila jawab call adalah, menangis. Sampai tak bersuara. Mak abah kakak-kakak faham, dan kadang-kadang saya dengar suara kakak saya pun sebak. Haha. Tak tipu. You guys can confirm it with them.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><b>"Ida nak pindah. Bawa Ida balik. Hm."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><b>"Tak fikir susah abah mak cari duit nak hantar Ida ke?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><b>"..."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><b>"Ida fikir baik-baik. Fikirkan abah dengan mak. Okay?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Sampaikan kadang-kadang rasa macam taknak jawab call diorang. Sebab tahu nanti dapat jawapan yang sama. Kalau call kakngah lagilah, lagi menangis, sebab kena marah. Haha. Dan sekarang saya tahu makna 'marah tanda sayang'. Tapi akhirnya, mak dengan abah kata boleh pindah. "Ida mohonlah pindah." Memang tak tinggalkan sesaat waktu untuk dibuang, saya cepat-cepat pergi office dan buat rayuan nak tukar maktab. Katanya proses ambil masa yang lama, saya tak kisah dan tekad dengan keputusan saya.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Betullah katanya, haha. Proses rayuan pemindahan maktab ni ambil masa yang lama. Saya dah mula seronok dan 'jatuh cinta' dengan suasana dekat sana. Lagi-lagi ada kawan yang superb sporting. Serius. Tak boleh mention nama kawan yang buat saya berubah fikiran untuk tak jadi pindah, sebab semua pun berjaya buat saya jatuh cinta. Aduh. 'Berubah fikiran'? Ye, saya tak jadi pindah bila office buat announcement waktu petang dekat maktab panggil nama saya. Satu kelas macam pelik. Heh. I bet they dont remember this moment. Tapi saya ingat. Saya pergi office, lepas tu office bagitahu permohonan saya dah berjaya, so perlu respon dari saya sama ada nak teruskan atau tak. Saya jawab tak.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><u>How to handle the homesick:</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">1. Senyumlah walau hipokrit. Tegurlah seceria mungkin walau nampak hipokrit. Biar nangis waktu malam tapi ceria waktu siang. Haha. Memang waktu nak tidur merupakan waktu paling sayu sekali. Takpe, hadaplah dinding nangis. Jangan tunjuk dekat orang. Tapi make sure waktu siang anda ceria. Macam mana nak ceria?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Berkawan dengan orang yang ceria jugaklah. Tak salah berkawan dengan yang pasif, tapi awaklah kena aktif. Buatlah lawak sikit. Pura-pura gelak. Who knows dia pun terhibur.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2. Shows your interest. Bila ada kawan tengah bercerita, you can add some respond eg: "Wehhh ye lah! Aku pun rasa macam tu!" "Aah. Betul." " Entahlah. Aku tak rasa macam tu" Lepas tu, jangan segan silu jangan teragak-agak untuk kongsi cerita awak pulak. Buat-buat macam ada 'chemistry'. Enjoy lah sikit cerita diorang. Walau kadang-kadang doesnt make sense, awak perlu tahu yang seseorang seronok berkongsi cerita dekat orang yang berminat dengar cerita mereka. And then bila dia ada cerita baru, dia akan looking forward to share it with you. Trust me! You can be jemah anywhere, not just in your home :)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">3. Kalau tak segan, you can share your problems with your trusted friend. Ceritalah, macam saya, saya cerita yang saya buat tawaran nak pindah dekat someone, lepastu dia cakap "janganlah tinggalkan aku, aku seronok kawan dengan hang!" Dan siapa sangka dia betul-betul buat saya stay dekat maktab tu sampai graduate. Hm.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">4. Ni paling penting. Ingat pengorbanan parents awak. Kalau awak dari keluarga kaya pun, fikirkan susah payah parents awak untuk awak. Saya memang berasal dari keluarga yang bukan senang, makanya saya mungkin cepat sedar yang saya tak boleh buat mak abah saya kecewa. Kos nak hantar saya pun dah beratus-ratus, nak daftarkan saya, nak beli barangan asrama saya, pakaian saya, dan paling penting, jasa dan letih mereka. Saya boleh bagi apa? Saya hanya mampu belajar je. Itu je saya mampu waktu berumur 16 tahun. Tapi kalau awak bagi alasan, "saya dari family berada, keluarga saya banyak duit." tapi awak masih boleh fikir yang terbaikkan? Parents awak dapat duit dari mana? Bekerja kan? Dan kerja itu meletihkan..... Fikirlah.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">5. Ikhlas. Ikhlaskan niat. Kalau awak tahu apa yang awak nak, awak akan dapat. Cuma awak kena yakin. Ikhlas dalam persahabatan. Kalau kawan awak perlukan bantuan, awak bantu. Kalau awak ada buat silap, minta maaf.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Sebenarnya yang penting adalah diri kita sendiri. Motivasikan diri. Mind set itu penting. Kalau awak terlalu fikirkan lebihnya rumah, seronoknya rumah, ada mak abah ada kakak ada tv ada internet free dan sebagainya, sampai bila pun awak tak akan move on. Awak perlu enjoy setiap detik yang anda. Memang kadang-kadang benda macam "mak abah sihat tak?" "mak abah okay ke?" kalau betul awak risau, awak call lah mereka setiap hari. Biar orang kata awak lokek, anak mak abah, tapi yang penting awak rasa selamat. Jangan manjakan diri awak. Jangan terlalu ikutkan perasaan. Setiap apa yang Allah dah atur pasti ada hikmah. Saya bersyukur saya kenal kawan-kawan dari MRSM PDRM Kulim. Dan sesungguhnya pengalaman itu mendewasakan anda.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Entry terlebih panjang but at least I try to help. Saya sayang anda, saya harap saya membantu. Maaf andai ada silap kata atau tidak sependapat :)</span></div>
Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-5212309623062804282015-11-03T18:29:00.003+08:002015-11-08T22:45:31.390+08:00Different People See Different Things.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Assalamualaikum hye there β₯</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><u><span style="color: #e06666;">We don't meet people for nothing, there must be a reason. Chin up!</span></u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Heyyyyy I know this is a little bit embarrassing but yeah I'm already done with Semester 1 in CFS IIUM :) Wish me luck for upcoming semester this January thank you. So there is must be a reason for me to suddenly updating my blog lol yes I have a reason and the reason is YOU acewah look I'm good at making a pickupline haha no i'm just joking. Tiba-tiba tadi terfikir the only thing that i should keep is the memories so that i can share them with somebody special makanya saya harus teruskan perjuangan menulis blog ni sebab i know one day i'll start forgetting those good and bad memories one by one yup we're getting older okay haha.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #4c1130;">I've met different types of people, dan saya pula jenis suka memerhatikan orang but don't assume me as a stalker because i'm not.</span><span style="color: #4c1130;"><b><br /></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>1.</b> People that can welcome you warmly and treat you like their own sister. Like a happy family because at the same time you guys are needing each other :)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2. People that can tell you almost everything happens on that day. Just for making sure you learnt something from the story they told you. Or maybe as an advice. Tapi kadang-kadang cerita tu sendiri boleh buat kau tak selesa untuk dengar but since you want to make a great friendship with them, just listen and smile :) Lama-kelamaan you will adapt to that kind of people.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>3.</b> People that talked carelessly without even thinking about other people. They talked as if they are right in everything but then again you just smile and sometimes respond to them </span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #c27ba0;">"Ohh ye ke?"</span></i></b><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>4.</b> People that will treat you well even though both of you just had a conversation by a call. You never met them, you never knew how they look, you never knew what kind of people that call you but they treat you well. Don't you feel happy? I am.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>5.</b> Some people that expect everybody should know them. Hey this is not cool at all. Who do you think you're? Justin Bieber? No? Yes of course you're not him. So why do you expect some people will recognise you just by listening to your voice? How? So please when you're calling somebody for a business thingy, please introduce yourself properly :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>6.</b> People that can make your heart warm. How? Just by looking at their sweet smiles, happy face and etc. Yup of course we shouldn't trust any strangers and suddenly smile sweetly to them, no no no. But have you ever felt warm just by looking at some people? Have you? Haha.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>7.</b> People that suddenly lend you a hand because they knew you need a help, even a small thing, they willingly help you. That's great!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>8.</b> People that always remind you about dos and donts.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>9.</b> People that always take good care of you. Always asking you "Shidah dah makan?" "Okay tak hari ni?" And sometimes they will also ask you to join them eating lunch and dinner together, that will always remember you. Thanks a lot :)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #4c1130;"><b>10.</b> Last but not least, people that always feel bad to let you go for somewhere else hahaha :D</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #4c1130;">Percaya tak percaya. I wrote all of this </span><span style="color: #e06666;"><b>"Different Types of People"</b></span><span style="color: #4c1130;"> on April 2015 and now is the right time for me to publish it. Why? Because I'm always busy with my family (busy sangat) Haha. Dan those kind of people i've met was when I'm working as a receptionist at a hotel after my SPM examination. Wow it's such a great experience to be working there. I've learnt a lot! And of course there was a lot of good people than the bad ones hahaha but yes those not-so-good people giving me a tough days and sometimes they made me feel like giving up but no, I ended it perfectly lol.</span><br /><br /><b><u><span style="color: red;">P/S:</span></u></b><br /><span style="color: #a64d79;">Share with me your working experience. I bet you guys have a more interesting stories to be shared. Drop your thought in the comment box thank you :) *sorry for the broken english but i've tried my best.</span></span></div>
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-29050022382986386962015-05-06T15:03:00.002+08:002015-05-06T15:03:37.403+08:00Preparation for SPM :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Bismillah. Salam alayk people :)</span><div>
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><u>Proper preparation prevents poor performance.</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hello (lambai tangan) MasyaAllah lama betul tak menaip dan post entry dekat blog. Malunya bila nak start menaip ni. He he he. Sebenarnya niat dalam hati memang hari-hari kata nak tulis blog, nak update itu nak update ini, tapi tapi tapi, maaflah atas kekurangan diri ini, sikap malas ni perlu dikikis dengan lajunya hmm! (bersemangat waja) Sila ambil kisah ye tentang ini wahai blog-walkers sekalian kahkah :D</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Patutnya lah kan, mengikut logik akal mengikut logik tajuk di atas, entry ni sepatutnya saya post betul-betul lepas habis spm hari tu, dan sepatutnya sebelum result keluar hari tu haha tapi haih banyak betul alasan kan.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Firstly, mental preparation sangat penting. Sebab awak akan menempuhi satu ujian yang maha dahsyat. Dahsyat mana? Depends pada awak lah. Mentality awak macam mana; contohnya kalau awak rasa awak lapar, tapi tak ada makanan, awak berfikir cara mana? Cara yang complicated atau cara yang mudah? depends pada persekitaran awak. kalau waktu tu awak terasa rajin, awak boleh masak. tapi kalau waktu tu awak kurang rajin, awak pergi kedai beli terus makan :D Awak nak ya</span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">ng mana? yang mudah atau yang susah? (kenapa saya bagi contoh tentang makanan ye? hm)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Sama macam belajar, lagi-lagi nak tempuhi SPM. SPM ni susah taw, jangan ambil mudah. Serius jangan ambil mudah. Awak jangan fikirkan semuanya susah. Bak kata kawan-kawan saya, </span><b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">"Belajar ni kena enjoy. Jangan fikirkan yang susah sahaja. Cuba mudahkan benda-benda yang susah tu, insyaAllah semua pun kita mampu buat"</span></i></b><span style="color: #4c1130;">. Maksud di sini bukanlah 'ambil mudah terhadap perkara yang susah' tapi cuba beri kelonggaran sikit, jangan terlalu complicated :)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Secondly, physical preparation juga penting. Kenapa? Sebab awak mesti wajib harus berada dalam keadaan yang sihat sejahtera sewaktu ambil peperiksaan nanti. Tak kiralah SPM, PT3, peperiksaan semester ataupun apa sahaja jenis peperiksaan. Tapi kalau dah kebetulan waktu peperiksaan awak pun tak sihat, kita tak mampu nak ubah takdir eceh :') Orang kata, </span><i><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">"lagi dekat tarikh peperiksaan, jangan bersukan dah, fokus fokus!</span></b></i><b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">"</span></i></b><span style="color: #4c1130;"> Saya tak tahu siapa kata, tapi ada orang kata. Tak. Sangat salah. Kita kena bersukan jugak, even buat aktiviti ringan pun boleh, pergi skipping kejap, pergi jogging kejap, dalam 10-15 minit pun okay :) Saya tengok kawan-kawan saya yang bersukan lagi dua-tiga hari nak SPM hari tu, semuanya dapat result cemerlang-cemerlang belaka. Hah siapa kata bersukan boleh hilang fokus? (angkat sebelah kening)</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Jaga kesihatan diri baik-baik, dari sekarang pun boleh, kurangkan pengambilan cafein, gula-gula yang kerap dan dalam kuantiti banyak. Kenapa? Caffeine sangat tak baik untuk otak, lagi-lagi yang tak biasa minum, dan secara tiba-tiba terikut nak minum. Nope. Caffeine can cause headache. Sakit sangat. Sakit sampai rasa nak hantuk kepala kat dinding. Eh bukan, sakit sampai nak tidur kononnya bagi kurang sakit, tapi tak boleh kurang tak boleh tidur. Macam ni lah rasa sakit dia. Heh saya dah lalui sakit kepala macam migrain ni, during spm examination, and i cant do anything accept just lying on my bed and crying.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Jangan makan gula-gula banyak sangat, kononnya nak tahan ngantuk dalam kelas, tak payah la. The worst thing I had ever done in my life, makan gula-gula sampai gigi sakit gila lepas tu tak boleh belajar. Ini pun waktu SPM jugak. Hm. For sure saya dah buat rawatan awal kat gigi saya seminggu before spm examination, tapi tak tahu lah, mungkin ini ujian Allah dekat saya, dekat kawan-kawan saya jugak, mereka banyak bantu dan sokong saya waktu saya sakit dalam minggu peperiksaan SPM dulu :') Lagi seminggu saya nak habiskan peperiksaan SPM saya; subjek Physics, Additional Maths, Chemistry, Biology saya kena sakit gigi dan sakit kepala, tak boleh study langsung, saya menangis je, saya baring je. Sooooo, di sini saya nak tegaskanlah, pengambilan gula dan caffeine yang berpatutan sangat PENTING ye wahai kawan-kawan :)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Doakanlah saya dapat masuk IPG nanti hihi :')</span></div>
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-75247715015958346552014-12-18T18:47:00.001+08:002014-12-18T18:47:38.645+08:00Bermula Semula. Ya?<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Salam alayk. Hello earthlings β₯</b></span><div>
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><u>Life ain't easy but we must keep on moving.</u></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Seems like the whole page dah penuh dengan habuk yang tebal. Ehhhh ke computer korang yang dah berhabuk ni? Haha lawaktaklawak ida. Semua orang serious haha.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hai. ((awkward introduction evahh)) Sigh. Dah lama sangat blog ni terbiar maafin yaa? Sebenarnya saya dah lama tak menaip hah bohong bohong. Whatsapp hari-hari boleh pulak ya? Haha. Maksud saya 'blogging'. Yup. Busy mungkin. So marilah kita bermula semula ya? Haha take good care of me with this not-so-brand-new world; blogging world. Ayuh semuanya. Let me start the post with basmallah :)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm officially an ex-student of MRSM PDRM Kulim yay. *Drum roll. I've been too far in this blogging world. Kan? Since form 1 can you believe mehh? Haha. Tapiiiii, all of those posts were all randomly about my life. So I hadn't put a lot of good info in there. Hah. Banyak mengarut sebenarnya. So here I am. Going to spread the love and everyone can have it. Haha ginilah ya cakap bahasa kampung lagi senang. Almaklumlah asal dari kampung sahaja. Saja beramah ramah dalam bahasa omputeh. Haha. Gedik sebenarnya. Munasabah sikit bunyi alasannya.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Baiklahhhhh don't have any point. Haha. Nanti lagi sekali ya kita bermula semula. Ya? Ya?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Kita ni perlu sentiasa bersangka baik. Husnudzon dalam bahasa indahnya. Hm. Sekarang ni cuba kau bayangkan orang pun sibuk berburuk sangka terhadap kita pada masa yang sama kita berburuk sangka pada mereka. Semua pun buruk. Sampai bila? Hish. Bukan mudah. Tapi inilah dia. Cuba positif ya.</span></div>
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-22408452850344100722014-03-07T23:34:00.000+08:002014-03-07T23:38:06.061+08:003 little memories heh ^^<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;"><b>Assalamualaikum hello peeps β₯</b></span><br /><span style="color: #e06666;"><u>Pictures can't deny the memories.</u></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />Disebabkan rakan sekelas (Afoq) minta untuk update gambar waktu hari sukan dalam blog, saya ambil keputusan untuk update mengenai 3 perkara ecehh :p Apakah? First and foremost, kem kepimpinan JPA, EMC, dan Badar. Second, hari sukan MRSM PDRM and lastly Minggu Bahasa Zon Utara ^^</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Kem kepimpinan ni dijalankan dekat Tasik Beris, Kedah. 6-8 Februari 2014. Okay first impression saya adalah</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">"Waahh cantik gila!" </span></i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">With Wana</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Hari Sukan Tahunan 26-27 Februari 2014 ^^ <br /><br />Hari sukan sangat syok sebab rumah Dialami menang! Yeay ^^ Heh rumah sukan kami-kami. Saya seperti tahun-tahun yang sebelumnya, tidak memasuki apa-apa acara pun kecuali tukang sorak yang bertauliah heh. Thanks to kawan-kawan, adik-adik yang masuk acara dan harumkan nama rumah kita ((Dailami)) Walaupun banyak cabaran yang dihadapi cehh hehe tapi kami tetap juara :)</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Tema Keroro</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Minggu Bahasa 28 Feb-3 Mac 2014 :)<br /><br />Masuk Kuiz Bahasa dan Sastera. Me? Ida masuk kuiz sastera? Heh macam mana tah boleh terpilih tsk tsk u.u Baiklah kesimpulannya, saya dan kumpulan saya tak menang pun but apa orang kata, <i>'menang kalah adat pertandingan'</i> heh kalau semuanya menang, siapa pulak nak kalah kan? ^^ Banyak lagi pertandingan lain, forum, pidato, drama, storytelling, public speaking and etc hee. Maktab kami menang untuk forum, pidato, sajak.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: red;"><u><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">P/S:</span></b></u></span><br />
<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Update blog ditemani Athira Faiqah yang senget hiks ^^ sayang terot thanks kerana sudi menemaniku diwaktu malam ni hehe. Thanks jugak kerana pinjamkan laptopmu ini. Sayang Dailami forever ecehh </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">β₯</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> Pictures credit to: Athira, Mizah, Apen, Syaza.</span> </span></span>Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-87238201777730834992013-12-31T21:38:00.000+08:002013-12-31T22:00:21.894+08:00Azam tahun baru heh :p<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Assalamualaikum. Hello people ^^</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><u>Thank you for all the lessons. I learned a lot.</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Minta maaf andai 2013 ni saya dah buat banyak hati yang terguris, perasaan yang tersinggung, senyum yang tidak dibalas and etc heh :p Sejujurnya azam 2013 saya sudah lupa. dush apalah teruk sangat ye?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Baiklah ingin saya tegaskan bahawa azam bagi tahun baru 2014 tak lain dan tak bukan ingin menjadi lebih baik dari yang sebelumnya. Allah. sebut memang senang. cakap memang mudah. tapi diri ini yang degil seperti kotoran degil di baju yang susah hilang selain dengan menggunakan sabun serbuk fab. eh? fuyoo dah lama tak cakap merepek macam ni heh.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><u>Azam tahun baru β‘</u></b></span><br />
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<li><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mahu menjadi muslimah yang berjaya. Mukminat yang cemerlangβ₯</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Score 9A+ dalam SPM 2014 hihiks doakan^^</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tak mudah mengalah. Tak mudah putus asa.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Lupakan suami tersayang buat sementara waktu T.T </span><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">((Justin Bieber))</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Maaf azam di atas agak melampau heh.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Stay humble.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Menjadi ringan tulang.</span></li>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yes. Mohon doakan saya ye semua. Azam kali ni memang berat. Nak galas satu amanah diri sendiri yang dibuat oleh diri sendiri. nak galas or nak pikul? never mind. Doakan Nur Saiyidah binti Zainal mendapat 9As + </span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">in her spm thank you love you x. Assalamualaikum :)</span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><u>P/S:</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">esok birthday abah. love you abah. love you so much. ida minta maaf banyak susahkan abah selama ni. crying a river. sobs muahh<b>β₯</b> someone show this to abah and let him know how much i love him. to infinity.</span></div>
Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-5238020787906468602013-12-13T00:22:00.001+08:002013-12-13T17:33:05.219+08:00Harapan emak :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Assalamualaikum. Hello people β₯</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><u><b>"Mom, i'm nothing without you."</b></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #e06666;">'Emak, ibu, umi, mama, mummy, bonda'</span></i><span style="color: #4c1130;"> atau apa sahaja yang kita panggil mak kita, itu adalah mak kita. heh. But I prefer to call my mom, emak :-) lagi manis, comel, vogue, keibuan dan seangkatan dengannya. Hehe don't worry it is doesn't matter how you call your mother as long as you call them in a proper way. that's enough. Siapa sayang mak dia, saya sayang dia heh boleh eh?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hari tu, mak aku ada kata... sebenarnya aku tak ingat bila. Tapi ada lah hari tu. Masa tu otak tak digest lagi kata-kata mak aku. Sebab at that time aku tengah tengok appa odiga, okay out of the topic. Continue.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Pagi tu aku tengah tengok tv. Tiba-tiba mak keluar dari bilik sambil bawa buku doa yang selalu mak gunakan </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">dan terus duduk sebelah aku.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">"Ida, hari tu mak ada baca-baca buku ni. Cuba ida tengok."</span></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">"Pasal apa mak?"</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">"Buku ni tulis, doa anak yang soleh/solehah akan dimakbulkan Allah."</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">...</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">"Doa anak yang solehah dimakbulkan Allah"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Doa anak yang solehah dimakbulkan Allah"</span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"Doa anak yang solehah dimakbulkan Allah"</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">"Doa anak yang solehah dimakbulkan Allah"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Mak sambung balik, </span><b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">"Mak nak ida doakan kesihatan mak abah sihat selalu."</span></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">"Hehe okay mak"</span></i></b><span style="color: #4c1130;"> jawab aku sambil senyum-senyum.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;">"Ida pernah doakan mak abah tak sebelum ni?"</span></i></b></span></div>
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<b><i><span style="color: #a64d79;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Eh mestilah ada mak, heh</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">e"</span></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Okay cerita dia lebih kurang macam tu lah perbualan my mom and me heh. Sangat nervous sebenarnya bila mak berborak in serious mood. Tak lah serious mana, lepas tu kitorang berdua sambung tengok cerita korea tadi. Semua dah lupa. Lupa. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Malam tu tiba-tiba teringat balik apa yang mak bualkan pagi tadi. Mak nak apa sebenarnya? Apa maksud mak? Rasa nak ketuk-ketuk kepala ni sebab lambat sangat nak cerna. Dari situ aku rasa aku ada dua conclusion.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Mungkin mak nak sangat anak-anak dia atau lebih tepat, aku. sebab aku seorang je yang ada dekat rumah masa tu. Mak harapkan aku jadi anak yang solehah.</b></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mungkin?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Mak nak aku jangan lupa doakan mak abah selalu bila habis tunaikan solat. Mak nak orang yang aku kena selalu ingat adalah mak dan abah. Mungkin?</b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Persoalannya, dah cukup ke level aku untuk sampai ke tahap solehah? Hmm. Even aku sendiri tulis dalam diari aku 4 bulan yang lepas "Umur aku dah 16 tahun, aku dah setengah tahun duduk asrama, waktu semua bertambah dan aku harap tahap kematangan aku juga bertambah seiring dengannya sekaligus menjadi hamba Allah dan anak yang solehah."</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hmm. Persoalan yang itu, dah tentu-tentu ada jawapan. But I have to find a way, plan, work hard for it, make it true. InsyaAllah. Bila kita usaha, Allah akan permudahkan. Put your trust on Allah, ida.</span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><u>P/S:</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Dah tengok Frozen? Kalau belum, pergi tengok cepat-cepat and i'm sure you'll love it cuz it's so sweet like cotton candy heh i know i'm over-acting :p</span></div>
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2935412396772570831.post-52154772054428949342013-11-26T10:01:00.001+08:002013-11-26T17:03:27.628+08:00Allah uji macam-macam. Sabar.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Assalamualaikum. Hello peeps :)</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><u>"Mula-mula memang susah. Allah uji macam-macam. Kuat wei kuat."</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Kadang-kadang kita ini tak sedar Allah dah bagi macam-macam dekat kita. Buat keputusan, buat pilihan, even ruang waktu untuk kita memikirkan semua itu pun dikira sebagai nikmat yang Allah bagi. Tapi once Allah uji kita, mulalah memberontak. Sikit pun tak terlintas dalam kepala kita yang Allah uji kita cuma sekali, sedangkan nikmat yang Allah bagi memang tidak ada tolok bandingnya. Deep. Aku alpa.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Waktu Final Sem 2 hari itu, last paper, last day exam dan tiba-tiba sesuatu yang tak pernah aku jangka terjadi. Ya lah, dah 16 tahun hidup sekali pun Allah tak pernah uji aku sebegitu. Leka.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mathematics modern. Paper 2. Masa dah tamat. Teacher dah kutip. Lega. Dan...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Saiyidah, circle tadi susah kan?"</b></i><span style="color: #4c1130;"> Irfan said.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Me, </span><i><b>"Circle? Yang mana satu ni?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Adalah yang itu, itu, itu,"</b></i><span style="color: #4c1130;"> He tried to explain.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Cemas gila. Pandang belakang. Suha.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Suha, maths tadi ada soalan circle ka?"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Ada! Susah kut."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>...</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Berlari pergi dekat Pah.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Pah, soalan circle yang mana satu ni? Cuba lukis sikit."</b></i><span style="color: #4c1130;"> I begged her.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Yang ini."</b></i><span style="color: #4c1130;"> Sketch sketch sketch.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Gelap. Tiba-tiba aku rasa satu kelas bisu. Aku jadi pekak sekejap. Dan buta. Mata aku gelap. Sesak. Nafas aku tersekat-sekat. Mata aku berair. Rasa tak boleh nak bendung lagi. Cis, hiperbola semua ini.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>"Inaaaaaaa!"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Why out of sudden I must shout-out-loud my roomate's name. Ina. Ya lah, aku study pagi petang siang malam dalam bilik dengan dia. Bermati-mati jerit nama dia. Aku terangkan laju-laju dekat dia. Dia ajak aku pergi cari teacher dan dan dan carilah segala pertolongan yang boleh. Rasa nak nangis.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I end up dekat Jabatan Matematik. Meet someone yang aku tak pernah kenal. Yes, aku pelajar baru, tak kenal pun semua cikgu. Tapi aku tahu, dia juga salah seorang guru Matematik dekat maktab itu.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sigh. Aku explain dekat cikgu itu sambil nangis-nangis. Why? Aku pun pelik. Sebab aku rasa aku nak cuba jawab soalan circle itu. Sebab malam itu, aku study gila-gila chapter circle. Sebab aku rasa aku... dah terlambat nak buat apa-apa. Masa dah tamat. Kertas dah masuk file dah. Aku bukan kanak-kanak special yang boleh mintak masa tambahan.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Balik kelas. Hampa. I can't stop crying. Bila fikir-fikir balik. Ini sebenarnya yang terjadi...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">10 minutes before exam start,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>"Ida, teman aku pi toilet sat. Hang tak kesah kan?"</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>"Takpa, lagipun aku nak basuh tangan ni. Melekit."</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Masuk je dalam kelas, teacher jerit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>"Okay class, you may start right now."</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Aku pun dengan semangat waja menjawab peperiksaan. Doa. Tapi sayang, tak semak dulu kertas soalan tu. Rupa-rupanya, paper aku tak lengkap. Page tak lengkap. Dan ada soalan pilihan pun aku tak perasan. Whatsoever yang bermain dalam kepala otak aku, 'jawab semua, siap semua, check balik jawapan.' That's all. Aku alpa. Takpe, Allah nak uji aku.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Dekat sini aku nak tegaskan, </span><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>setiap peluang itu datang sekali. Gunakan sebaiknya. Jangan sia-siakan.</b></span><span style="color: #4c1130; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> Sekali. I had learned an important lesson. Actually, kami semua diberi masa 1 jam before exam mathematics paper 2 dijalankan. But I keep on doing something sampai tak sedar masa tinggal 15 minutes. I thing I'm doing matrices at that time. Kut. Lupa. Then baru terhegeh-hegeh nak pi toilet. Yes.</span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><u>P/S:</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Allah tu Maha Pemurah, Maha Penyayang. Kita buat salah. Kita taubat. Allah terima kita. Tapi, aku malu. Berapa banyak salah yang aku dah buat. Bukan senang.</span></div>
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Saiyidah Zainalhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10934626606326263555noreply@blogger.com0